KID JOKES

Little Kid Jokes

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn’t paying attention in class. She called on him and said, ‘Johnny! What are 4, 2, 28 and 44?’ Little Johnny quickly replied, ‘NBC, CBS, HBO, and the Cartoon Network!’

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When I stopped the bus to pick up Chris for preschool, I noticed an older woman hugging him as he left the house. ‘Is that your grandmother?’ I asked. ‘Yes, ‘Chris said. ‘She’s come to visit us for Christmas.’ ‘How nice,’ I said. ‘Where does she live?’ ‘At the airport,’ Chris replied. ‘Whenever we want her, we just go out there and get her.’

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I didn’t know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and always she was correct. But it was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying sagely, ‘Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!’

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When the mother returned from the grocery store, her small son pulled out the box of animal crackers he had begged for, then he spread the animal-shaped crackers all over the kitchen counter. ‘What are you doing?’ his Mom asked. ‘The box says you can’t eat them if the seal is broken,’ the boy explained. ‘I’m looking for the seal.’

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This little grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning. He had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life. When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green army men in the cup. She said, ‘Honey, what are these army men doing in my coffee?’ Her grandson said, ‘Grandma, it says on TV ‘The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!”

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In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, ‘Don’t get excited, Albert; don’t scream, Albert; don’t yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert.’ A woman standing next to him said, ‘You certainly are to be commended for trying to soothe your son Albert.’ The man looked at her and said, ‘Lady, I’m Albert.’

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One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The young man of seven had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up and stood beside him. Gazing up at the plaque he said quietly, ‘Good morning son.’ ‘Good morning pastor,’ replied the young man, not taking his eyes off the plaque. ‘Sir, what is this?,’ Johnny asked. ‘Well son, these are all the people who have died in the service’, replied the pastor. Soberly, they stood together staring up at the large plaque. Little Johnny’s voice barely broke the silence when he asked quietly, ‘Which one sir, the 8;30 or the 10;30?’

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:D