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Posts
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A Little Girl..
A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks: “Excuthe me, do you have any widdle wabbits?” The shop keeper gets down on his knees, and says: “Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft fluffy bwack wabbit?” The little girl blushes, rocks on her heels, and whispers: “I don’t weally fink my pyfon gives a phuk!”
Tesco has just installed a new Medical Machine, that for just five pounds, and a urine sample, would diagnose ANY condition!
Now, when Jim went with a sore elbow, the computer printed out: YOU HAVE TENNIS ELBOW… SOAK IN IN WARM WATER, AND AVOID HEAVY WORK FOR TWO WEEKS!
Impressed; Jim wondered if he could actually fool this machine..
He mixed tapwater with dog shyte, urine samples from his wife, and his daughter, and them pleasured himself into the mixture.. (Ewww)…
When he tipped it into the machine the following day, the printout read:
YOUR TAPWATER IS TOO HARD. USE SOFTENER. YOUR DOG HAS RINGWORM. GIVE IT ANTIBIOTICS. YOUR DAUGHTER IS ON COCAINE. GET HER TO REHAB! YOUR WIFE IS EXPECTING TWINS.. (NOT YOURS).. GET YOURSELF A LAWYER,.. AND.. IF YOU KEEP ON PLAYING WITH YOURSELF, THEN YOUR ELBOW WILL NOT GET ANY BETTER..A Vicar..
A vicar books himself into an hotel for the night, and says to the receptionist: “I hope the p o r n in my room is disabled”. “It’s soft core” she replies, “so F**K off you sick B@stard!”
Two nuns walking through a graveyard and Dracula springs out at them
“quick show him your cross” says one nun
“fuck of you caped c*nt” screams the other@pete wrote:
Two nuns walking through a graveyard and Dracula springs out at them
“quick show him your cross” says one nun
“fuck of you caped c*nt” screams the otherDid you know.. Oops, sorry, wrong thread..
Couple a nuns were driving through a remote town, when they were flagged down by a funny looking man. Of course they stopped, and let this man take advantage of them. That’s right, he f****d them both..
After he had finished, (and said thanks).. [/i](Nice Man).. The two nuns arrived at a deserterted Petrol Garage, where they noticed a phone. “Right” said the first nun, “I“i’ll ring the police, and we’ll have the git done for two se xual offences.” think you’ll find that’s four” says the second nun.. “Four” says the first looking puzzled.. “Well yeah” says the first nun, “we have to go back that way”..
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