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A Lutheran minister is driving down to New York to see the radio show and he’s stopped in Connecticut for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on his breath and then he sees an empty wine bottle on the floor, and he says “Sir, have you been drinking?”
And the minister says, “Just water.”
The sheriff says, “Then why do I smell wine?”
And the minister looks down at the bottle and says, “Good Lord, He’s done it again!”
@metallica wrote:
@constantino wrote:
@metallica wrote:
A young man walks into A&E at his local hospital. When he is shown into the examination room. He strips off n reveals he has a penis the size of his little finger, seeing it the nurse bursts out laughing. ‘its not funny’ the man says sternly. ‘its been swollen like this for 2 weeks now!’
I already got that one from our mutual friend, so you’re second hand this time :P :P :P
and where do u think our mutual friend got it from? :P :P :P
not me :lol: :lol: :lol: :P :P :P
Picturing Smiley getting goats of made me laff and has to be the joke of the day :lol:
Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar.
Barman says… This has to be a friggin joke :lol: :lol:
A guy walks into a Glasgow library and says to the librarian,
“Excuse me Miss, day ye hiv ony books on suicide?”
She stops doing her writing, looks at him over the top of her glasses, and says,
“F*** off, ye’ll no bring it back!”
:-$ [-(
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of
her students. The teacher asked, “Harry, what’s your problem?”Harry answered, “I’m too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in
the 3rd grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in
the 3rd grade too!”Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal’s office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to
the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks
he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his
questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and
he agreed to take the test.Principal: “What is 3 x 3?”
Harry: “9.”Principal: “What is 6 x 6?”
Harry: “36.”And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd
grader should know.The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, “I think Harry
can go to the 3rd grade.”Ms. Brooks says to the principal, “Let me ask him some questions.”
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only
two of?”Harry, after a moment: “Legs.”
Ms. Brooks: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?”
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: “Pockets.”
Ms. Brooks: “What does a dog do that a man steps into?”
Harry: “Pants.”
Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?”Harry: “Coconut.”
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: “What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft
and sticky?”The principal’s eyes opened really wide and before he could stop
the answer, Harry replied, “Bubble gum.”Ms. Brooks: “What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting
down and a dog does on three legs?”Harry: “Shake hands.”
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: “What word starts with an ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that
means a lot of heat and excitement?”Harry: “Firetruck.”
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher,
“Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong……”:lol:
A lil girl asks her mommy where do babies come from
Mommy replied daddy makes liquid called sperm
Mommy the lil girls says do you have to drink it
Mommy says nooooo sweet heart only when i want a new pair of shoes
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
excellent =D> =D> =D>
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:Q. if a woman is uncomfortable watching u w/ank do u think (a) u need more time together? (b) shes a fuc king prude? (c) she should of sat elsewhere on the bus!
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