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Heyyyyyyyyyy I thought this was the joke thread ffs……..oh well, here it goes:
A woman walks into an accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.
The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask you a few questions.”
He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, “what is your occupation?”
“I’m a whore,” she says.
The accountant is somewhat taken back and says, “No, No, No, that won’t work. Let’s try to rephrase that”
The woman says, “OK, I’m a high-end call girl”.
“No, that still won’t work. Try again.”
They both think for a minute; then the woman says, “I’m an elite chicken farmer.”
The accountant asks, “What does chicken farming have to do with being a
prostitute?”“Well, I raised a thousand little peckers last year.”
“Chicken Farmer it is.”
Tadaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…….
I almost laughed 8)
just had this bt txt from sunny
when asked what his fave musical instrument was….the 14stone fat kid off the telly replied
the dinner bell. 8)
Now thats got :lol: ta be the best jump start i’ve ever seen
I checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely so I thought I’d get me one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when your calling for a cab. I grabbed a card on my way in. It was an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs all the way up. You know the kind. So I’m in my room and figure, what the heck, I’ll give her a call…
“Hello?” the woman says. Wow! she sounded sexy. “Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I’d like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I’m in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. I’m talking kinky the whole night long. You name it, we’ll do it. Bring implements, toys, everything you’ve got in your bag of tricks. We’ll go hot and heavy all night; Tie me up,cover me in chocolate syrup and whip cream, anything you want baby. Now, how does that sound?”
She says,”That sounds fantastic, but for an outside line you need to press 9.”
@sailingal wrote:
I checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely so I thought I’d get me one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when your calling for a cab. I grabbed a card on my way in. It was an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs all the way up. You know the kind. So I’m in my room and figure, what the heck, I’ll give her a call…
“Hello?” the woman says. Wow! she sounded sexy. “Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I’d like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I’m in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. I’m talking kinky the whole night long. You name it, we’ll do it. Bring implements, toys, everything you’ve got in your bag of tricks. We’ll go hot and heavy all night; Tie me up,cover me in chocolate syrup and whip cream, anything you want baby. Now, how does that sound?”
She says,”That sounds fantastic, but for an outside line you need to press 9.”
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
The 8yr old boy that weighs 14 stone was asked earlier on TV today what his favourite musical instrument was at school.
The fat kunt said the dinner bell@hermangrrrman! wrote:
The 8yr old boy that weighs 14 stone was asked earlier on TV today what his favourite musical instrument was at school.
The fat kunt said the dinner belli alredy posted that one baldy. :roll: 8)
A professor at West Virginia University in Morgantown was giving a lecture of the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks, “How many people here believe in ghosts?”
About 90 students raise their hands.
“Well, that’s a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?”
About 40 students raise their hands.
“That’s really good. I’m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?”
About 15 students raise their hand.
“Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?”
3 students raise their hands.
“That’s fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further…Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?”
Way in the back, Bubba raises his hand. The professor takes off his glasses, and says “Son, all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience.”
The big redneck student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium. When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, So, Bubba, tell us what it’s like to have sex with a ghost?”
Bubba replied…….“Shooooooot! From way back thar I thought you said “Goats.”
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