Joke of the Day

2 blokes ones 350 foot up a tight rope

The other is getting a bloe job of a 85 year olf lady

What have they got on coman ??????????////

Both to f00king scared to look down

:!:

The Best Las Vegas Hooker EVER

A guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and a knockout looking Vegas hooker catches his eye. He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks the hooker, “How much do you charge?”

The hooker says, “Do you see that Denny’s on the corner?”

“Yes.”

“Do you see the Denny’s about a block further down?”

“Yes.”

“And beyond that, do you see that third Denny’s?”

“Yes.”

“Well,” says the hooker, smiling invitingly, “I own those. And, I own them because I give a hand-job that’s worth $500.”

Guy says, “What the hell? You only live once. I’ll give it a try.”

They retire to a nearby motel. A short time later, the guy is sitting on the bed realizing that he just experienced the hand-job of a lifetime, worth every bit of $500. He is so amazed, he says, “I suppose a blow-job is $1,000?”

The hooker replies, “$1,500.”

“I wouldn’t pay that for a blow-job!”

The hooker replies, “Step over here to the window, big boy. Do you see that casino just across the street? I own that casino outright. And I own it because I give a blow-job that’s worth every cent of $1,500.”

The guy, basking in the afterglow of that terrific hand-job, decides to put off the new car for another year or so, and says, “Sign me up.”

Ten minutes later, he is sitting on the bed more amazed than before. He can scarcely believe it but he feels he truly got his money’s worth. He decides to dip into the retirement savings for one glorious and unforgettable experience. He asks the hooker, “How much for some p*ssy?”

The hooker says, “Come over here to the window, I want to show you something. Do you see how the whole city of Las Vegas is laid out before us, all those beautiful lights, gambling palaces, and show places?”

“Damn!” the guy says, in awe, “You own the whole city?”

“No”, the hooker replies, “but I would if I had a p*ssy.”

Rocky the rooster was the biggest, meanest rooster in the world and spent his time beating the sh/it outta all the animals on the farm, 1 day he picked on the farmyard cat. Unfortunatly the cat beat the shi/t outta him. The moral of the story is : no matter how big the coc/k is, the pus/sy can always take it.

http://www.glumbert.com/media/pants