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Posts
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@kent f OBE wrote:
@anc wrote:
I reckon to forgive someone who has in some way violated your body (or someone you knows’), you either gotta be extremely brave or turn to religion.
Therefore, I do kinda see where Poli is coming from, but just don’t think that I could do it, and don’t understand how those that do (if they really do) – if ya get my drift!
I agree what you’re saying…maybe they are able to deal with it…would take an incredible person to be able to forigive such violation
I think mental scars remain forever, (regardless of what type of trauma a person has been through) and they affect how that person’s life develops.
I don’t think anybody can truly move on, or forgive and forget – the hurt and pain is never far below the surface.
It is possible to forgive but it takes a long time. However you may forgive but you never forget. The memories may fade, just as scars do, sometimes you are more aware of those scars than others,sometimes you can even forget they are there but they never disappear altogether.
In order to forgive, you have to break the psychological hold that the abuse/abuser has over you but how do you break that hold when you keep bumping into the person who abused you, when he/she shows no remorse, each time the sight of them dragging it all to the forefront of your mind again? Many move away from the area, have a fresh start, but how do you do that when the person is on the TV, in the newspapers, being lauded as someone wonderful? Even in death, they keep reappearing in the media, their grinning face looking right at you…imagine not being able to get away from it. How do you break that hold, take back your power?
Whether or not it’s the method I would have chosen is immaterial, I can understand why the victims took it to the media just as I can understand how there might be many more victims out there who will still keep quiet. For some, the monster keeps haunting you but no one else can see past the monster’s disguise. The only way you can see to strip that monster of their power is to expose them, strip off the disguise so that others can see the monster for what they really are. When you’ve taken away the monster’s power then maybe the psychological hold over you can be broken to enable you to forgive and move on…but you never forget.
When you have found that forgiveness and moved on the best you can, maybe if you are strong enough, then when it is appropriate you share your story with others. Not to be a victim, you’ve gone past that, but to share the lessons learnt, to stop others from finding themselves in the position that you did, and if they do find themselves in that position, to show them that it is possible to survive and become a stronger person as a result…it just takes time.
i was quite shocked when i watched the documentary at just how sordid the guy was……..relieving himself on a 14 year old girl behind a curtain across an alcove whilst others were on the other side and could hear……….just how disgusting and sick can you get?
@tinks wrote:
i was quite shocked when i watched the documentary at just how sordid the guy was……..relieving himself on a 14 year old girl behind a curtain across an alcove whilst others were on the other side and could hear……….just how disgusting and sick can you get?
Yes. That is one helluva sad, sick mind.
What a horrible, seedy, sordid world this “man” and his ilk lived in.
It is a shame that the police did not have the balls to do anything at the time but the 70s from what I gather was a totally un PC world. It seems anything went in them days.
It wasn’t that “anything went in them days” it was that people were very naive, and you could lose your job very easily on someone’s whim. We didn’t have all the employment laws that we have now, and so people within the BBC who knew what was happening wouldn’t have dared to say anything. This would have prevented the police from getting enough evidence. The children themselves would have been frightened, and again had no understanding of how to deal with the situation.
The idea that people thought this behaviour was the norm is incorrect, the opposite was true if anything, nobody would have thought that someone of his ilk would have done what he so sadly did. People were more innocent and less cynical.
@minim wrote:
It wasn’t that “anything went in them days” it was that people were very naive, and you could lose your job very easily on someone’s whim. We didn’t have all the employment laws that we have now, and so people within the BBC who knew what was happening wouldn’t have dared to say anything. This would have prevented the police from getting enough evidence. The children themselves would have been frightened, and again had no understanding of how to deal with the situation.
The idea that people thought this behaviour was the norm is incorrect, the opposite was true if anything, nobody would have thought that someone of his ilk would have done what he so sadly did. People were more innocent and less cynical.
If you say so, but I was just a little kid in the 70s.
However, how do you measure whether ppl in the 70s were more innocent and less cynical? Compared to what age?
I don’t think, that throughout the entire of history, there has ever truly been an innocent age although each era has to be analysed within the political, social, and economic context of the time.
But I do believe the the police were around in the 1970s and they had a duty to investigate such allegations but chose not to, for whatever reasons.
@minim wrote:
It wasn’t that “anything went in them days” it was that people were very naive, and you could lose your job very easily on someone’s whim. We didn’t have all the employment laws that we have now, and so people within the BBC who knew what was happening wouldn’t have dared to say anything. This would have prevented the police from getting enough evidence. The children themselves would have been frightened, and again had no understanding of how to deal with the situation.
The idea that people thought this behaviour was the norm is incorrect, the opposite was true if anything, nobody would have thought that someone of his ilk would have done what he so sadly did. People were more innocent and less cynical.
@terry wrote:
@minim wrote:
It wasn’t that “anything went in them days” it was that people were very naive, and you could lose your job very easily on someone’s whim. We didn’t have all the employment laws that we have now, and so people within the BBC who knew what was happening wouldn’t have dared to say anything. This would have prevented the police from getting enough evidence. The children themselves would have been frightened, and again had no understanding of how to deal with the situation.
The idea that people thought this behaviour was the norm is incorrect, the opposite was true if anything, nobody would have thought that someone of his ilk would have done what he so sadly did. People were more innocent and less cynical.
Wotcha gonna bribe us with?! :lol:
@terry wrote:
@minim wrote:
It wasn’t that “anything went in them days” it was that people were very naive, and you could lose your job very easily on someone’s whim. We didn’t have all the employment laws that we have now, and so people within the BBC who knew what was happening wouldn’t have dared to say anything. This would have prevented the police from getting enough evidence. The children themselves would have been frightened, and again had no understanding of how to deal with the situation.
The idea that people thought this behaviour was the norm is incorrect, the opposite was true if anything, nobody would have thought that someone of his ilk would have done what he so sadly did. People were more innocent and less cynical.
quite right too, I am adorable! :D
Ask yourself why I typed http://justchat.co.uk/boards/viewtopic.php?t=25583#739709 in his RIP thread. Am i psychic? Did he try bum me as a kid? Or was it in fact just common knowledge.
Why it’s taken until now to come out I will never know.
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