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Posts
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Why prepacked ham whether it’s Beechwood Ham, Thick Cut Roast Ham, Cured Ham , Wiltshire Cured Ham,
Peppered Ham, Applewood Ham, Smoked Ham or Yorkshire Black Ham all taste like snot!My postman never ever shuts the gate after him.
The nails on my right foot are always neater than the ones on the left.
When guests come to stay they never say “My God you must have spent hours washing those skirting boards”
My son rings and says hello mum it’s me Matt, he’s my only child I know his name.
When you wash curtains they shrink but the lining doesn’t.
Fly spray makes me choke but the flys still live.
How you can wash a coloured top with your whites over and over again for months and it never runs…until the day you put that expensive white fine linen blouse in the same wash…ah well, I always wanted a pale turquoise linen blouse.
How you can go to the supermarket after work (the only time you can do your shopping) wanting to buy cakes for friends coming around…you get to the bakery just as they’re putting up the end-of-day reductions, wait patiently for the little old lady in front of you….who promptly buys EVERY reduced cake there is, then turns and says to you “I’ll probably end up feeding the birds with them but I do love a bargain!” :twisted:
How the cats manage to behave impeccably until you have visitors, then within 30 minutes of them arriving, one sits in the middle of the lounge rug and throws up the biggest furball I’ve ever seen and the other one comes in through the catflap making that yowl that lets you know she’s got a mouse :shock:
and finally…..how Rose knows what snot tastes like… :shock:
@jen_jen wrote:
How you can wash a coloured top with your whites over and over again for months and it never runs…until the day you put that expensive white fine linen blouse in the same wash…ah well, I always wanted a pale turquoise linen blouse.
How you can go to the supermarket after work (the only time you can do your shopping) wanting to buy cakes for friends coming around…you get to the bakery just as they’re putting up the end-of-day reductions, wait patiently for the little old lady in front of you….who promptly buys EVERY reduced cake there is, then turns and says to you “I’ll probably end up feeding the birds with them but I do love a bargain!” :twisted:
How the cats manage to behave impeccably until you have visitors, then within 30 minutes of them arriving, one sits in the middle of the lounge rug and throws up the biggest furball I’ve ever seen and the other one comes in through the catflap making that yowl that lets you know she’s got a mouse :shock:
and finally…..how Rose knows what snot tastes like… :shock:
:lol: :lol:
Gonna do the man thing here and add logic and solution to try and help..
My postman never ever shuts the gate after him. A) You usually have one postman tell him to close the gate, he will remember if you ask nicely and give him a box of Qualty street.
The nails on my right foot are always neater than the ones on the left. A) Get someone else to do them for you preferably someone that isnt foot side biased
When guests come to stay they never say “My God you must have spent hours washing those skirting boards” A) Just leave your house to rott for 6 years and the team from “How clean is your house* will pop round and do it all for freee)
My son rings and says hello mum it’s me Matt, he’s my only child I know his name. A) lmao i dont have the answer to that but when ever i fone my mum and say “Hi mum its me” she ALWAYS replys “ahh well hello ME” it wasnt funny the first time mother and it never will be lol she still does that joke everytime bless her.
When you wash curtains they shrink but the lining doesn’t. A. Use Frebreze
Fly spray makes me choke but the flys still live. A. spend less time cleaning ya curtains and skirting and clean ya kitchen and take out the trash flies arnt attracted to nice curtians.
how did i do score me outta 10 :) lol
@userfrenzy wrote:
Gonna do the man thing here and add logic and solution to try and help..
My postman never ever shuts the gate after him. A) You usually have one postman tell him to close the gate, he will remember if you ask nicely and give him a box of Qualty street.
The nails on my right foot are always neater than the ones on the left. A) Get someone else to do them for you preferably someone that isnt foot side biased
When guests come to stay they never say “My God you must have spent hours washing those skirting boards” A) Just leave your house to rott for 6 years and the team from “How clean is your house* will pop round and do it all for freee)
My son rings and says hello mum it’s me Matt, he’s my only child I know his name. A) lmao i dont have the answer to that but when ever i fone my mum and say “Hi mum its me” she ALWAYS replys “ahh well hello ME” it wasnt funny the first time mother and it never will be lol she still does that joke everytime bless her.
When you wash curtains they shrink but the lining doesn’t. A. Use Frebreze
Fly spray makes me choke but the flys still live. A. spend less time cleaning ya curtains and skirting and clean ya kitchen and take out the trash flies arnt attracted to nice curtians.
how did i do score me outta 10 :) lol
Nil ! :lol:
No way am I gonna buy the postman choccies he once slapped me on the bottom when I was bending over in my car!
I don’t want anyone touching MY feet ewwww.
That big ol bird in How Clean is Your House scares me so don’t want her round!
I’m just not going to answer the phone anymore.
Fabreze hasnt been on offer for ages.
My rubbish is always dumped in the wheelie bin with the lid closed but there’s always one stalker fly.
Y childproof lids are also adult proof !
:roll: why does the government say you need x amount to live on then give you less lol *shakes head* anyone know the answer on a postage stamp plzzzzz :lol:
why did no one go to the newcastle meet
what happened to the london meet 2 thread
why do so many very unattractive people insist on having a siggy that implies they are gorgeous
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