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Excerpts from a Dog’s Daily Diary
8:00 am – Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
12:00 pm – Lunch! My favourite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the garden! My favourite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00 pm – Milk bones! My favourite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play football! My favourite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!Excerpts from a Cat’s Daily Diary
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe…
For now.Sooooo true Shazza!!! :lol:
The dog ha sa lot of favourite things :lol:
and typical of any pussy, you can never keep it happy :lol:
Its just so true though isnt it!! Ive got both and it sums them up completely 8)
Your forgot your dogs “all time” favourite thing. Licking his own genitals… 8)
@fastcars wrote:
Your forgot your dogs “all time” favourite thing. Licking his own genitals… 8)
not if ur a bulldog. 8)
Excellent, gooniebird 8)
male dog…. and a female cat i am assuming. :lol:
@rainbowbrite wrote:
Excellent, gooniebird 8)
male dog…. and a female cat i am assuming. :lol:
My doggies a girl and the cats are boys but the descriptions are quite fitting!! :wink:
@rainbowbrite wrote:
Excellent, gooniebird 8)
male dog…. and a female cat i am assuming. :lol:
Oh thought you woud come out with soething like that. Its not the males fault lil things please them, whereas the females are so much harder to please :lol:
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