It can only….

well ELOOOO Folks xxx im up sittin lol in pain but im here and self medicatin nicely..!!

it can only happen to me, went in for my op totally brickin, even after my shower in the mornin i put my best undies on thinkin… what u doin… lol well ur mammy always says ‘u got clean knickers on ‘ lol anyways went into the ward hyper ventleatin and feelin rather quism, got book in this Sister irish woman, said oh we been expectin u ‘ i was like verbal diahorria near to tears, plz don’t tell me anything ill pass oot afore the OP, then the guy whom knocks ya oot strolls in and said, oh not u again lol they proceeded to tell me the what if’s whilest i was goin ‘ lalalalalallalalalalalalala’ as they legally have to tell me lol anyways get stripped doon to the bear blue tinge flesh, and the revealin hospital Gowns that ties to the back which ur ar5e hangs out..!! i was offered paper knickers but i declined as the elastic im allergic to lol then looked down at my feet and ive got nail polish on my 2 big toes, i 4got my daughter tried to paint me nails lol but luckly no jewerly lol i said bein a non reglisous thought now i wonder if my will is water tight lol as u do lol and who will get my karaoke discs lol so got wheeled down by 2 guys i know fae the pub whom said when i was knocked oot they have a peek at me lol i was like not afore ur lunch lads eh lol anyways woke up in the after op room, the nurse sayin Marryyyy Marrrryyyyy come on now Marrryyyyy , i was like im hereeee … on that gas thing still, but it was makin me constatly itch my face lol i was like u mind im allergic to laytex she said its the morphine can make u itchy, to which i said no i don’t do that only Mary J lol anyways got taken to the ward and had to take that oxygen for sum reason for ages but i keep pullin the thing off as my face was beignin to really asnnoy me now.. deed itchy lol my room was full of ladies from 55 t0 96 well, what a laff it twas like the ‘Golden Girls’ this lady Rena was 70 and look’d 45 , anyways i was like to the nurse i need to go to the loo, or have i got one of those p’ss bags in ( canny try n speel that lol ) she said, no ill bring u a bedpan, i was like NOOOOOOOOOOO, i aint p’ss’in on meself lol so she said rite ill get the camode i was like nooo they dinny put the brake on last nite and i ended up on me ar5e, no gee a zimmer and ill strool over to the loo, she said ohhh u havent to put any weight onto ur leg yet, i was like its ok i no, ill hop, anyway wasnae feelin no pain anyways, hop’d to the loo, oh btw why the loo seat reaised to high,,,, i was ne’er pee’in on meself as cudnt manover me leg lol anyways i miss’d lumch, my mam brought the kids up for visitin to which my kids ate my sandwhich and sweets ohhh and fruit lol i was still starvin then dinner came and OMG only soup was left, i was like naebody can ar5e up soup, well it was rank as, vulger tasted like ohhhh rank.. so i was still starvin, nite visitin came and my 2 pals came up and didnae bring anything as my mum said she took up sandwhiches…!!! so i moan’d n groan’d, so anyways didnt seelp asked 2am for more pain killers got them at 5am!!! then got into a sleep then i was woke up by the nurses to say they needed to change my bed..!! i was like ohhh no i wet meself, no i dinae lol the tap in my hand my body forces things out of it so it had edge out and my bed was covered in blood and me, so they said we’ll get u to the loo, strip u off, and let u wash urself down, which i was like yeah ill manage, washin me bits as best as i cud, to feelin a breeZe on me ar5e when bendin over..!!! not a pretty site naked btw lol i stood up and turned round this guy way a basecap standin there..!!! i was like excuse me ‘ either wash me back for me or shut the door’ to which i heard a nurse sayin ‘ Ohhh theres a patience in there” i shouted abit late he mite need mouth to mouth, anyways got myself ready and hopped out, the 2 plummers where standin lookin out the windae, i was like ‘ ohhh u darnt look at me eh i bet ur lucky u had breakfast hrs ago eh lol the poor guy didnt flinch, then the old golden ladies startin shoutin to the nurse to take oot there pee bags as they wanted a thrill and why should i get all the luck lol

anyways ive ben 14 days got me staples out still very sore and don’t have much feelin in my knee and surroundin area, bruised to hell and this rite ugly huge scar lol go to the surgeon 4thmay, then physio, well im hopin physio starts sooner…

anyways what have I miss…???