Boards Index › Fun and humour › Jokes and humourous links › Is this acceptable?? Mover over, mr q; a joke which isn't a joke.
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26 September, 2017 at 10:46 pm #1071818
mr q isn’t the only one to crack jokes which don’t make many people laugh.
My experience of telling this joke is that very few people like it; in fact they get downright upset.
I don’t even like this joke! But I do appreciate it for its sharpness and refusal to compromise – like an Israeli Lenny Bruce.
Two Israeli settlers had taken Little Ahmed to a bar.
Ahmed wasn’t used to drinking, so they both enjoyed themselves getting him pretty drunk for the first time in his life. They felt they owed him it for his having worked so hard for them.
Little Ahmed felt pretty good, too. he was being treated as a grown-up, almost an equal with these two big guys who were laughing and joking with him as though he was a settler too.
Just as the two settlers had decided to introduce the lad to the world of women, the loudspeaker sounded.
ATTENTION! ATTENTION! The curfew is about to begin. All Arabs must return to their homes within five minutes or they will be shot.
At this, the settlers looked at each other, and one of them took up his rifle and put a bullet in Little Ahmed’s head.
Walking to the next bar after dumping the kid’s body, one said to the shooter, “Why did you do that? the lad was all right”.
“I know this boy”, replied the other, “No way will he get home in 5 minutes”
have a wonderful life.
- This topic was modified 7 years, 1 month ago by sceptical guy.
26 September, 2017 at 11:24 pm #1071827Scep, my my, very interesting.
As I did understand joke,yes, laughed, then went ohh….
So as I understand your intent. Thanks for sharing.
Xxx
P. S. Wanted to send out like on Mizzy’s..poems.. hee… With caution thought otherwise if ruin her thread..
My joke………
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27 September, 2017 at 10:50 am #1071899Thanks for that Sceptical Guy…i thought i was the only one who cracked jokes that never made people laugh. LOL Dam i ain’t that unique any more. LOL
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27 September, 2017 at 2:04 pm #1071963ouch @ Scep.. x Poignancy through Humour.
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28 September, 2017 at 6:10 am #1072076That was from a book called A Horse Walked into a bar, by David Grossman, about a stand-up Israeli comic. It’s very funny, but serious with it.
Here’s another one, in my own words coz it’s remembered.
A Frenchman, an Italian and a Jew were sitting in a bar, and their talk turned to the subject of making love.
The Frenchman said – when I make love to Anne-Michelle, I use garlic butter to smear her body, from head to toes. She loves the smell and the smooth way in which my hands move over her, and when i finish I leave her gasping for breath for 5 minutes.
The Italian said – when i ravish my Maria, I use a special olive oil whihc they make in our village in Sicily. It has strong aphrodisiac powers, and I cover her with it from head to toes, slowly. By the time I have finished, she is crying and out with pleasure for 10 minutes.
The jew said – when i start to go at Golda, I use tones of schmaltz [yiddish for sentimentalism, my little baby, I love you more than all the stars, you are so beautiful etc]. I bury her in it, layer after layer and when i finish she is screaming for two hours.
The two others look at each other with incredulity on their faces. Two hours?? How can that be, they ask?? You must be making it up.
No, replied the Jew. It’s true. When I finish, I wipe my hands on the new bedroom curtains.
oh well, I thought it was funny. Grossman used the word jew because that’s what he is, he’ has his own reasons explained in the novel, but it could be used for anyone really.
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28 September, 2017 at 10:15 am #1072088Humor is the heart of many and the shape of the eye brow of many else. Many laugh at humor because it makes them laugh. Many critic humor because of the way it conflicts with their own. If some thing makes you laugh……you found it funny.If some thing doesn’t make you laugh…it might still actually be funny but not to you.
Point is about this joke Sceptical Guy……and i’ve heard it many times although you don’t use offensive language but the joke it self is offensive.
First of all…why does any one need to brag about their sexual prowess and secondly….why does any one need to be so disgusting about the curtains aspect.
Maybe that’s where people like Bernard Manning and others got their influence from?
28 September, 2017 at 10:30 am #1072090first, mr q, not everybody is as fastidious as you. A lot of humour comes from the unexpected twist, and a lot of good jokes are off-colour, if not downright dirty. I see nothing wrong with that. I actually like many dirty jokes, though some are offensive. I don’t like ‘nice’ jokes usually, especially when the come from ‘nice’ people.
Remember the definition of the Puritan as someone who knows that someone somewhere is having a really fun time and is determined to stop it.
Secondly, mr q, you misunderstand both the joke and the humour. Read the novel, as I’m not going to explain it to you. Or if you’re not going to read the novel – then tough that you don’t like it.
Benny Hill, one of my favourite comics, used to put on the very repressed clipped voice of a ‘nice’ personwhen he said “I don’t believe in that sort of thing before marriage. I’m not sure I believe in that sort of thing after marriage either”
28 September, 2017 at 10:44 am #1072094Thats your problem Sceptical Guy. At your age (in my opinion) one should know what he believes
28 September, 2017 at 5:55 pm #1072151I laughed the day My father died.. the schadenfreude of the moment had me in tears. He had remarried. and died in his new home. By the time I got the call, the house was mobbed with relative strangers, which he would have hated. All fake tears from the woman he marrieds sons. God botherers !!
coming away with god bothering clichés !
The undertaker came, and as he goes to take my fathers body away, went into a Grand mal Epilectic fit. So I dives in to help the poor dude.. As I was lying on the floor, next to a fitting undertaker, and a lop sided coffin, and fake wails in my eardrums.. I got the joke..
I almost looked to the heavens in appreciation, of a very funny Mans, final journey..safe in the knowledge He would have laughed like fuck too..
Miss ye Daddy x
28 September, 2017 at 6:13 pm #1072158I cant see why Q is offended by anyone boasting over sexual prowess unless he is going without himself. I’m personally known after the treasure island character long dong silver with ladies telling me to get my parrot after a lengthy session but clearly some have failed to impress sufficiently to gain such a dubious accolade… you have a nice day anyway Q x.
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