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Posts
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Plea to parents follows rat alert
There’s a rat in my kitchen, what am i gonna do?
DJ Evans misses out on dinosaur
Yes Chris- you’ve missed out by at least 20 million years! Unless you count Billie..
Fake ‘homemade’ food warning
God – You’ll be telling me next that Ragu doesn’t really come from Italy, and that Tesco’s Own Brand Mexican Taco’s don’t come from Mexico..
Club asks members to leave
Well, that’s the thing you see – After a certain time, it’s common sense to leave!
Children’s hospital ‘improving’
That’s all very well, but how are the children?
Bus crashes into pensioner’s home
Well – they do complain that there’s no bus service on their own doorsteps!
I’ve read the News for all regions, looked through my Local Paper, and would you believe it – everything’s bad! Nothing remotely funny that I can comment on! Oh Well..
There’s always tommorow! :D/
sorry. I realise your trying, but. …. Boring.. you be really funnier elsewhere.
well done though x@rubyred wrote:
sorry. I realise your trying, but. …. Boring.. you be really funnier elsewhere.
well done though xFunnier Elsewhere? Where Exactly? – I’m trying to inject some humour, but can’t please everyone!
You’re right though, i’m off to apply for a NewsReader position at BBC NEWS 24.. Who cares?.. No-one watches. :-sDriver fined for ‘Scooby-Doo’ logo on number plate
Apparantly the driver has made a complaint, and refuses to pay the fine.
Good for you S haggy..Hen lays world’s biggest egg
Sorry, but that’s nothing,.. I know about a goose who laid a golden egg..
Wellies ‘that can charge mobile phones’ launched
Oh Come On,.. I suppose the welsh sheep s haggers will benefit then if ever up on a hill, and need to phone someone to tell them about it!
Mobile phone saved cliff fall man
Hmmm – he weren’t welsh, and wearing an unusual pair of wellies now was he? :lol:
Welshman’s £37,000 punt on Rooney
Now if the bet is – Can he get any uglier, and you’ve said yes.. then I’m afraid you’ve lost the bet..
Can a runner beat a horse in a race?
Yes – I’ve seen it in a weetabix advert!
Arrest over Facebook fight plans
Apparantly – the man planned to poke his victim, before throwing an animated sheep at him.
Gun attack ‘was attempted murder’
I should hope so – I wouldn’t exactly call it fun!
Questions over city school future
ANSWERS in pencil please, no cheating, and put your hand up if you need assistance!
Woman rescued from kitchen fire
That’s the last time she’ll try cooking a salad!
Knitters’ teddies for 999 traumas
*Rings 999* – ‘Help, please, i’ve broken my arm.’
Operator: ‘Just hang on in there Sir, we’ll be there in five minutes with your teddy.’
Zeta Jones ‘thrilled’ by her CBE
Quoting: ‘Ew don’t realise how happy I am mun,.. Been a while since I was thrilled.’ I bet it is Cath Babe – He’s about 90..
E-mail error ends up on road sign
Just can’t get the staff these days, can you? Let me have a go..
To The Mother In – Laws For Tea.. :D/
Armed robbery reconstructed
No Need for that – Bet the victims are thinking: ‘Oh F u c K, not again.’
Illegal immigrants found in lorry
Before arriving at their destination – They noticed a sign saying (30).. So ten got out and walked!
Court told man stole from granny
And when they searched his house, they found patchwork quilts – a tin of biscuits – a copy of war and peace, and a tin of spam from 1975.
Airline to start selling takeaways
How’s this going to work then? Ring up the cook in the plane, and ask them to deliver to the third row? :lol:
Three faint on grounded airplane
Something they ate? :lol:
Vera returning to Corrie as ghost
What they should have done was have her shot near the canal, and brought her back many years later. Then again, a plot like that would never work, would it? :?
‘Jesus will return by 2050’
I’ve made a note of that in my diary.. I wonder where he’ll be playing? Wembley perhaps!
McDonald’s: Happy Meals lawsuit
I don’t blame these people, i bought one, and they toy I had weren’t the one I wanted! Shame on McDonalds.
Two honeymoons for Katie Price
Yeah – One for each breast!
Plan B: I feel like I’m living in a coffin
Said the spirit of a deceased man contacted on last nights Most Haunted!
I was sat there with a coffee – reading The News Of The World, and nearly choked when in front of me was a headline which claims that Jacko wanted operation to make Bubbles talk!
I actually wanted to make my pet Sheep talk – but decided against it.. :lol:What a great thing that would have been – They could have had their own Chat-Show!
Also, I am so glad to learn that Land-Rover have admitted that it was all a Publicity stunt – to do with hiring Posh Spice to design their vehicles! Thank God for that! I was dreading the thought of Pink Machines, with fluffy dashboards, and a Sat-Nav which constantly moaned.
Could have been worse I suppose, they really could have had Beckham designing their vehicles.. :lol:Police raids net cash and drugs
And when asked to participate in interviews, each were either too stoned, or too busy spending the money recovered!
Five Scots a week dying in Spain
This is just a suggestion – DON’T GO TO B LOODY SPAIN THEN!! :lol:
Man clung to cliff by fingertips
And shat himself at least twenty seven times in the process!
Residents’ anger at £28,000 superloo for Fintona
I know – It takes the P I S S doesn’t it?!
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