IF YOUR CHILD WAS?IS BEING BULLIED……what advice/action ?

@Welsh fem 1 wrote:

@thin ice wrote:

and for the record

im not my brothers keeper :P

I now can see where u get the bullying from its in the blood :evil: ive said all i needed to say on this matter i will say no more on the subject !!!

says the skanky woman who goads a fellow chatter over the death of her sister
find a big stone
crawl under it :P

Have to agree with Poli and Thin on this. Half the problem now is the kids get away with it cos there’s no fear or respect. If i was out of line, I would be terrified someone told me parents cos i would get a walloping off one of them. Now it seems that if kids are bullying, you do anything to em and instead of their parents agreeing with you, you get grief off em and are then done for assault.

When I was a kid, we used to be frightened of getting in trouble with the police cos you’d either get a clip round the ear, or they would drag you home to your parents who would do the same!

I know for a fact if I had told my parents that a teacher, other parent, or policeman had hit me, they would have asked what I had done!

Now I don’t agree with kicking the crap out of a child, but some discipline and a little fear is needed. Kids are wrapped in cotton wool now, it’s far too easy for em.

@fat bob wrote:

Have to agree with Poli and Thin on this. Half the problem now is the kids get away with it cos there’s no fear or respect. If i was out of line, I would be terrified someone told me parents cos i would get a walloping off one of them. Now it seems that if kids are bullying, you do anything to em and instead of their parents agreeing with you, you get grief off em and are then done for assault.

When I was a kid, we used to be frightened of getting in trouble with the police cos you’d either get a clip round the ear, or they would drag you home to your parents who would do the same!

I know for a fact if I had told my parents that a teacher, other parent, or policeman had hit me, they would have asked what I had done!

Now I don’t agree with kicking the crap out of a child, but some discipline and a little fear is needed. Kids are wrapped in cotton wool now, it’s far too easy for em.

If we’re talking about hitting a bully, then it’s about punishing something that’s already happened.

The trouble with kids today is not to do with punishment, it’s to do with how they learn to bully in the first place.

I was afraid of my parents’ old fashioned punishments their approach was much like the one you described Neil and f_pol. There was also a pecking order which put my older brother’s superior physical strength next in line of ‘fear’.

I learned that ‘might is right’ and as soon as I was bigger than other kids, or had any authority, I turned into an arrogant little sh1t and threw my weight around.

It took a gentle woman’s example and a constructive work environment to show me that you didn’t have to hit or shout at people and over time that made me learn to reason and to try to understand people more. Now I would never use physical violence, and I do my best not to revert to the intimidating language and behaviour I picked up as a child. I think the most dangerous thing about smacking is that kids learn to use violence themselves and find their own justification. Boys and men in particular are often stuck with a limited vocabulary of behaviours and can carry that into relationships and families.

Even in today’s ‘no smacking’ world, it can only take the tolerance of a bullying culture in a school or workplace for a climate of fear to take over.

My own kids have hardly ever been spanked and the only times they had, it failed miserably to have any positive effect. Largely they are unbeaten and are now praised consistently for their behaviour, charm, wit and constructiveness. They turned out to be popular at school and lucky to go to schools where peer mentoring and other support encouraged them. And of course they take after their mother!

Having said that, one of my sons did go to a secondary school where bullying was rife – he says it was like Waterloo Road, but with the bad bits left in – we never found out ’til after he left. He says he found ways to negotiate his way round the bullies, but he never really gives any details to this day.

Anyhoo . . . . I think bullies should be reported to whomever can do something about it, if they don’t then they should be held accountable for not doing their job. As a last resort it might be necessary to defend oneself or one’s child physically against an immediate physical threat and I don’t judge anyone for dealing with their problems in the way they see fit – although I think if me and f_pol had got together when young, our kids would be terrified – beautiful, but terrified.

In the end, I think bullies and criminals are most affected by being caught and isolated. Kids need to learn behaviour has wider consequences than their own little bubble.

Whether it comes from official sanction or from rough justice, it’s the lesson learnt that counts.

i hear what ur saying words, but i would just like to add, my son is not terrified of me, although despite his now 6ft hulk my “look” still does it lol and i havent had to smack him in years, but he is in actual fact an extremely caring and sesntive to others moods and feelings and hates it when he sees people in school falling out and being his size often steps in to try and make them shake hands so i dont think a few spankings at the right time with the right force has hurt him in anyway, maybe im bias maybe i could have tried another way, but i did what every parent does the best i could, in often extremely difficult circumstances, and i am very very proud of the mature polite and caring youg man he is turning out to be

@(f)politics? wrote:

i hear what ur saying words, but i would just like to add, my son is not terrified of me, although despite his now 6ft hulk my “look” still does it lol and i havent had to smack him in years, but he is in actual fact an extremely caring and sesntive to others moods and feelings and hates it when he sees people in school falling out and being his size often steps in to try and make them shake hands so i dont think a few spankings at the right time with the right force has hurt him in anyway, maybe im bias maybe i could have tried another way, but i did what every parent does the best i could, in often extremely difficult circumstances, and i am very very proud of the mature polite and caring youg man he is turning out to be

Yeah, but if you put the two of us together, we’d have been a force to be reckoned with . . . . .

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