i thought i was the best man

well i thought i was the best man
now im begining to realise i not
im a sad sad t wat really
i cant live with out getting drunk
my lovely girl friend has dumped me good and proper and has even blocked me from calling her
mind you in was ringing her making threats 24/7
my wife hates me
she only lets me stay cus she feels sorry for me
shes not happy though this morning
i p issed the bed again

think ill get some diamond white in if i can nick some dosh out of the wifes purse
and ill hang out in the sand dunes all weekend
my bed should be dry by then

i often say to my self
cosy where did it all go wrong

i wish i was smart and funny like thin ice

i have to admit he is the best man
i threaten to kill him he just laughs

i said id burn his barn down
he just laughs
i call him all hours
he just laughs

i said id poison his dog
he just said do one

im a sad looser now i can see it

roll on next month
im going to have a bath
i only bath with months with out an r in them

i tried this new identity to see if i could pull some new girls
but every one knew it was me

i really am a sad t wat

i thought they all loved me in pats chat
but now they know im a sad looser

still there is always some diamond white