I JUST DUNNO ER

Im not raking up auld news and that,and  I am very apologetic but alas im afraid to say well im not afraid fck dat,but I am the bearer of very bad sad tidings  break so before Idrop this shattering bombshell on youse,I just hope you are sitting comfortably not cosy no comfortably,i wouldnt want any of you lot snuggling up to me all cosied up watching a film eating popcorn and that

just fck off in big circles,so anyway oh hang on how come i never get royalties for coining the phrase “over the road”? and dont say i didnt cos i did circa 2008 yunno with the great cull and the exodus from jc to pc so now i see ppl saying have they gone over the road to uk chat well yeh a lot of them have,i think thats fair play to them,i wont mention names (apart from 1 in a min)bu””t ya i bet inno they are seasoned chatters who know  the score they just want a bit of a chinwag thats all,I personally dont go in there a lot its not really my cup of tea im not saying they are bad people but theres a lot of tin pots in there,and ppl who asked me were you in aol,i dont even know what it means? oh yeh and fck me bend me over and call me brenda so many mods its a joke chatters like me stand no chance they dont know me or understand me so i just slide in now and again drop a few sarcy lines to ppl i dont like then fck off aaahhh but ive got a cupla of mates in there so i just wanted to see if they were in and this is where  i just wanted to die i was already feeling sick,not really a hangover just  like yunno when you feel a bit sick so it was morning and guess who i see? yep you got it flying “extremely interesting k i

and my heart sank i actually had somebody sitting  next to me and i said to her ere you go luv i bet you i can predict this clown will say evening here from nz its 13c here,and sure enough he did,so this woman said to me (id only met her the previous night outside the sally ann so i put her up cos she had nowhere to stay how did you know that feckin eejit was gonna say that? i just replied dunno brenda its just you can read fools, she said no i think you are some kind of magician and famous but just dumbing yourself  cos you feel sorry for me   sighs so anyway at least i got a shag out of it so cheers ki wd mate keep slagging me off ps say hi to dolly for me.

nah i just made it up for a laugh linda trying to pretend im big and that im fck all really,just trying to cheer myself up,feel pretty down today, may i ask youse a question might be 2 or 3 tho

1,do you ever feel agrophobic?

2.claustrophobic?

3,anti social?

4,sociopath?

5,CBA with anybody as in fck off get out my face

6,which is a bit like 5 but even tho they havent done fck all wrong (its your fault not theirs you moody tw@t)7

hmm 15 quid er might have a peep but then again its kenty innit might save me money buy a quarter of weed instead,its not that im against tits or braless women its just that i dont see the point in tits just like fat lumps hanging off your body fckn useless really they get in the way what you want what you really really want the magic beaver once wrote a song about fannys with my band,god bless the beaver  when im in  there im happy and contented cheers god best thing you ever invented no it didnt get in the charts,i got a link tho if you wanna hear it yeh so tits ah cba with them altho i do have a chuckle when i see a wom,owt elsean running for a bus tits wobbling all over the place and she misses it then i see her muttering you bastard,and i pop up and wind her up saying a bit of bad luck you had there innit luv,ever tried losing some weight you fat fck? erm what else? oh yeh does anybody remember a band called sparks? they got a album called indiscreet or is it propaganda? anyway they got a a song called tits,im not a crude rude lewd manbut its a really great song about how breasts can wreck a marriage,,id send you the link but im too fick,anyway its on you tube and its called tits cant think of anyting else so say so im fcking off.anybody want to put it on go for it.bye xx