i dreamt of you

I dreamt of you

I dreamt that someone was shouting at me in my face.  I was trying to cuddle and kiss them and they held me so tightly it hurt and kept shouting at me.

I kept trying to kiss them and they kept hurting me by demanding that I solve all their problems and rescue them.

then they put me in a big cage and let people shout at me and you laughed

you hated me for letting you down, you thought I would let you abuse me and be ok about it.

I was scared.

and in one dream we spoke.

you actually said sorry for what you did and you said you didn’t know why you did it. In my dream you said sorry and that you were just hurt and you didn’t meant it.  in my dream we hugged and wished eachother well.

but then I was back in the cage with big men all shouting at me.

and I was stuck on the tube without a ticket and I couldn’t find my luggage and I didn’t know where I was going.

I am sorry

I did love and care about you David.

I have nightmares of you and I am sad but you are the one who ruined it all.

And I wont let you punish me forever.

You mattered to me.  you matter full stop.

everyone does.

I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like you didn’t matter.

everyone matters x

I don’t think anything I will ever say will make you stop

I know you enjoy laughing and ridiculing when you upset and hurt people that’s why I never gave you the satisfaction of knowing how much you did hurt me.

I didn’t want to give you the satisfaction by even recognising you.

I’m sorry david.

I would be lying if I said you never mattered to me and that I didn’t love you.  you did matter and I did love you I just cant handle shouty angry men who shout in my face and scare me and make me feel threatened,  You have no need to be so angry and hateful.  I met you.  I cuddled you and spent time with you.  To me you were special. Because you abused me public I hate you.  I don’t wish death on you.  I would never have cheated on you.  I loved you.

you hate me so much but in all fairness.

I never ever cheated or would have

I actually liked you for you

but with my history how could I handle your temper?  you shout and you are angry x

I’m sorry I cannot deal with that

I did care but we were not compatible

you scared the fuck out of me and I cannot be with anyone who scares me

I need to be single x

I just hope that you have not ruined your life by trying to destroy mine.

• This topic was modified 5 years, 4 months ago by  Dangermousey.