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These are actual complaints :roll:
These reminded me of the excellent Monty Python Sketch – Travel Agents.
“We bought ‘Ray-Ban’ sunglasses for five euros (£3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake.”
“We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels.”
“On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food at all.”
It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during ’siesta’ time – this should be banned.”
“I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.”
“I was bitten by a mosquito – no-one said they could bite.”
“We had to queue outside with no air conditioning.”
“We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white.”
A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.
“The beach was too sandy.”
A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she’d been locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the “do not disturb” sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.
“There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners.”
“The brochure stated: ‘No hairdressers at the accommodation’. We’re trainee hairdressers – will we be OK staying here?”
“My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.”
“Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women.”
“It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took the Americans three hours to get home.”
“No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled.”
the preggie is hilarious :lol:
@susieq wrote:
These are actual complaints :roll:
These reminded me of the excellent Monty Python Sketch – Travel Agents.
“We bought ‘Ray-Ban’ sunglasses for five euros (£3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake.”
reply,
Shame they didn’t sell pamphlets for idiots!
“We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels.”
Reply..
We do apologise, most of our customers arrive at their destination with most things.. Common Sense is one of them! :lol:
“On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food at all.”
Reply..
We do apologise, there is A Non-Spicy option.. You can F u c k Off..
It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during ’siesta’ time – this should be banned.”
“I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.”
reply,
We’re not a fekking Biscuit Factory, We’ll take up five pages in the brochure to inform you of the pointless things we don’t sell.
“I was bitten by a mosquito – no-one said they could bite.”
Reply,
Normally the mosquito’s themselves warn you, but unfortunately, like you, these ones were foreign.
“We had to queue outside with no air conditioning.”
Reply,
We would like to inform our customers of something known as Air. You may have been told about this at some point in your life.
“We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white.”
Reply,
Try coming in the summer, and not the winter..
A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.
There’s always one..
“The beach was too sandy.”
reply,
we do have many complaints, such as the water is too watery, parents throwing their kids to the sharks, and then not getting them back..
A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she’d been locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the “do not disturb” sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.
How many drinks did she have again?..
“There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners.”
Reply,
we apologise for this, but you missed the “One Ethnic minority at a time season”..
“The brochure stated: ‘No hairdressers at the accommodation’. We’re trainee hairdressers – will we be OK staying here?”
Reply,
We appreciate your questions.. We suggest you get a dictionary, and look up the words “Derrrr” and “Dumb”..
“My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.”
reply,
we take full responsibility for your partners penis accidentally slipping into you.
“Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women.”
Reply,
we understand how upsetting this must have been. We will forward your letter to “Make me look better.com”.. you ugly insecure cow!
“It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took the Americans three hours to get home.”
Reply,
Americans are our best customers, and we have the right to give them priority. Maybe you should move to america.
“No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled.”
Reply,
not as startled as the fish were.. Mr and Mrs Chav, who’s fekking kids were a nuisance. Ps, your hubby left his Burberry cap in the chalet.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
is it considered wierd to be sat in front of my laptop laughing loudly :lol: :lol:
love it woohoo
Just trying to get some experience for my new customers services vacancy!! HaHa.. :lol:
you’ll go a long way :lol: :lol:
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