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An old joke but appropriate for the upcoming voting…..
While walking down the street one day an MP is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. “Welcome to Heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”
“No problem, just let me in,” says the MP. “Well, I’d like to but I have orders from higher up. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”
“Really, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven,” says the MP.
“I’m sorry but we have our rules..” And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the lift and he goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him, everyone is very happy and in evening dress.
They run to greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar. Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes.
They are having such a good time that, before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the lift rises.
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
“Now it’s time to visit Heaven.” So 24 hours pass with the MP joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
“Well then, you’ve spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity.” He reflects for a minute, then the MP answers: “Well, I would never have said it, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell.”
So Saint Peter escorts him to the lift and he goes down, down, down to Hell. Now the doors of the lift open and he is in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all him friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. The Devil comes over to him and lays his hand on his shoulder. “I don’t understand,” stammers the MP. “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and club and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable.
The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, “Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted for us!”
Man dies and goes to hell.. He is shown three rooms..
In the first room, all those inside were being whipped by demons, and the man is told that this was his first option.. “Fook that” said the man, i’ll see what’s next.
Secondily he was shown a room, where for eternity, each person had to carry massive boulders on their backs. “Fook That Too” said the man,.. I’ll see what’s next.
In the third room, there were five men, all standing in sewerage upto their knees, but yet they all had a cup of tea in their hands.. Of course, that was the best option, so he chose that! Just as he was being handed a cup of tea, the Devil came in and said.. “Ok Lads, tea – breaks over, back to standing on your heads”.. :lol:
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