Funny newspaper headlines

Couple slain; police suspect homicide

Kids make nutritious snacks

County to pay $250,000 to advertise lack of funds

Utah Poison Center reminds everyone not to take poison

Federal agents raid gun shop, find weapons

Crack found in man’s buttocks

President wins budget; more lies ahead

Local high school dropouts cut in half

Typhoon rips through cemetery – hundreds dead

Man struck by lightning faces battery charge

New study of obesity looks for larger test group

Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25

Tiger Woods plays with own balls, Nike Says

One-armed man applauds the kindness of strangers

Fish need water, Fed says

Astronaut takes blame for gas in space

Alton attorney accidentally sues himself

Plane too close to ground, crash probe told

Miners refuse to work after death

Juvenile court to try shooting defendant

Stolen painting found by tree

Two sisters reunited after 18 years in checkout

War dims hope for peace

If strike isn’t settled quickly, it may last a while

Man in diaper directs traffic

17 remain dead in morgue shooting spree

Coach fire – passengers safely alight

Grandmother of eight makes a hole in one

Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say

Police begin campaign to run down Jaywalkers

Drunks get nine months in violin case

Eastern head seeks arms

Prostitutes appeal to religious Leader

Failed panda mating – veterinarian takes over

British left waffles on Falkland Islands

Teacher strikes idle kids