From the mouths of babes…

1) – This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)

2) – Oysters’ balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)

3) – If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don’t
have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (Mike, age 7)

4) – Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily
Richardson . She’s not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)

5) – A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head.
(Billy, age

6) – My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and
pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)

7) – When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the
ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn’t blow the sailors would whistle
to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better
off eating beans. (William, age 7)

– Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and
I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant?
Like, really? (Helen, age 6)

9) – I’m not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is
always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has
just got pregnant, so I can’t think what to write. (Amy, age 6)

10) – Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can
give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think
they have to plug themselves in to chargers. (Christopher, age 7)

11) – When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my
willy small. (Kevin, age 6)

12) – Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can’t
go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age

13) – On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was
going very fast. She says she won’t do it again because water fired right
up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)

14) – The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don’t drown
I don’t know. (Bobby, age 6)

15) – My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean.
What he doesn’t know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7)