Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
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  • #19513

    Merry Christmas To My Female Friends

    If I were ol’ Santa, you know what I’d do
    I’d dump silly gifts that are given to you
    And deliver some things just inside your front door
    Things you have lost, but treasured before.
    I’d give you back all your maidenly vigor,
    And to go along with it, a neat tiny figure.
    Then restore the old color that once graced your hair
    Before rinses and bleaches took residence there.
    I’d bring back the shape with which you were gifted
    So things now suspended need not be uplifted.
    I’d draw in your tummy and smooth down your back
    Till you’d be a dream in those tight fitting slacks.
    I’d remove all your wrinkles and leave only one chin
    So you wouldn’t spend hours rubbing grease on your skin.
    You’d never have flashes or queer dizzy spells,
    And you wouldn’t hear noises like ringing of bells.
    No sore aching feet and no corns on your toes,
    No searching for spectacles when they’re right on your nose.
    Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fa n ny, :lol:
    From a doctor who thinks you’re a nervous old granny.
    You’d never have a headache, so no pills would you take.
    And no heating pad needed since your muscles won’t ache.
    Yes, if I were Santa, you’d never look stupid,
    You’d be a cute little chick with the romance of a cupid.
    I’d give a lift to your heart when those wolves start to whistle,
    And the joys of your heart would be light as a thistle
    I wish I could tell you all the symptoms I’ve got,
    But I’m due at my doctor’s for an estrogen shot.
    Even though we’ve grown older, this wish is sincere,
    Merry Christmas to you and a Happy New Year.

    Yeah…….sh i t happens :roll:

    #517024

    lol……ty tinks xxx Merry Christmas

    #517025

    lovely tinks and a merry christmas , happy new year to you xx

    #517026

    saw that funnily enough on a gardening website years ago but still makes me chuckle

    #517027

    @j_in_france wrote:

    saw that funnily enough on a gardening website years ago but still makes me chuckle

    my auntie sent it to me……….i’m now of the age when i can appreciate it :lol:

    #517028

    @tinks wrote:

    @j_in_france wrote:

    saw that funnily enough on a gardening website years ago but still makes me chuckle

    my auntie sent it to me……….i’m now of the age when i can appreciate it :lol:

    sadly me too but you can either be miserable or laugh – I prefer the latter ;)

    #517029

    Love it Tinks :D Hope you had a good Christmas… Happy New Year :D

Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)

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