Boards Index › Chat rooms – the forum communities › Chat forum three boards › Five year old boy lives as girl
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21 February, 2012 at 2:22 pm #17299
Personally, I think it’s doing him more harm than good. What happens when he reaches puberty and senior school when gender differences are far more pronounced?
Only way out of not doing this kid serious mental damage is to give him a full sex change ASAP.
Thoughts?
21 February, 2012 at 2:26 pm #489830I think its great that the school is supporting him but think he will grow out of it if hes not gay.
My nephew was mad about Dora but now loves Ben 10, its most likely just a phase as he loves his sister and hes probably just gay and being only 5 doesnt know, its crazy it has gotten to the papers but what doesn’t these days.
21 February, 2012 at 3:11 pm #489831This story worries me on a few levels…
Lots of kids say they “want to be ….” they simply just say it….the same as being a train driver or pilot…he said girl maybe? Of course I don’t know th full story…but what a decision to take for the parents…personally I cannot fathom how they were so sure that he was so sure he was a girl…
I never thought of the gay aspect of it Lucy until you mentioned it…however I find that hard to understand in someone such a young age…
The other point that makes me shudder is the fact how public the parents have gone….personally I would have though the child needs protecting from ridicule to be able to grow into whoever he thinks he is if thats the case…maybe the parents should have moved him to another school to start a fresh if you like….all parents protect their kids…they won’t be there day in day out in his school life to see any bullying etc he may or may not suffer….he may not tell his parents either…from fear of maybe thinking his parents will make him go back to a boy?
As for the school being supportive…I imagine they ultimately had no choice……..human rights and all that bollocks21 February, 2012 at 4:18 pm #489832@kent f OBE wrote:
all that bollocks
Seems quite appropriate given the story! :lol:
I have a customer who is in his late 20s, for a long time I thought he was a woman…he has the face of a woman, he sounds like a woman, his mannerisms are definitely female, but he has a man’s body and was brought up as a boy/man. I was surprised to find that he’s actually a man as to all intents and purposes he comes across as female – and I do mean female and not camp. He says he knew from a very early age that he was really a girl, that he tried to tell people that he was a girl but he was told not to be so silly. His parents overcompensated by encouraging (or forcing) him to do the things that typical boys did. as he got older he was told it was a phase and he’d “grow out of it”. He says his childhood was a very confusing time for him, puberty was a nightmare, he already hated his body and now it was changing in ways that made him feel alien. In his late teens he tried to kill himself several times. He is now estranged from his parents because of his gender issues and undergoing counselling pre gender-reassignment treatment. There is no doubt in my mind that this person in a man’s body is really a female, and I cannot imagine how tormented he must be.
In the case of the child, I happen to think the parents are doing the right thing for the child – they’re putting his happiness first yet keeping gender-neutral clothes for him in case he changes his mind and decides that he really is a boy after all. Given his earlier attempts to mutilate himself, I think this is probably the best solution until he is adult and able to consider his longer-term options.
Incidentally there’s a big difference between gender and sexuality. Don’t assume that because someone feels that they’re trapped in the wrong body that they will be attracted to members of their own sex. My customer feels very definitely that he is female yet is atrracted to women .
21 February, 2012 at 4:18 pm #489833I agree totally Kent… how could a child so young have formulated an opinion about his gender? and why would the parents encourage him to make a decision at such a young age…. its not necessary anyway kids are not so stereotyped these days girls play with what used to be termed as traditionally boys toys and vice versa.
When my daughter was tiny she mimicked everything her older brother did… she refused to wear dresses and insisted on the same toys as her brother.. she climbed trees and was fearless… refused to have pink in her bedroom.. and shunned everything girly…..
So who is she now?….. well she is a 6ft blonde who turns heads and sparkles with femininity. Im sure if we had planted the seed of confusion in her head when she was tiny, she would not be the confident well adjusted woman she now is…… where are the parenting skills for this little guy? call me cynical but are they making money out of this story?
As far as sexuality is concerned I agree with Jen…thats a decision he will make for himself when he is older and understands his feelings.. I wish him luck.
21 February, 2012 at 7:03 pm #489834I see your point Jen to an extent. I work with a woman who used to be a man and who fathered children.
My concern here is the boy’s long term future happiness.
So unless he has a sex change now he is going to go through puberty as a boy. That rules out an all girls school because of his physical attributes. It would also rule out an all boys school due to his mental attributes.
A mixed school? Well hormone filled teenagers aren’t going to be as nice to this boy as his infant school pals are. So he is going to be bullied and tormented.
Have his patents thought about these long term implications? Seems to me they are just interested in his short term happiness and the publicity that goes with his “condition.”
As for trying to cut off his penis, how does a 5 year old get access to such sharp insturments???
21 February, 2012 at 7:07 pm #489835I would never have thought that a child so young would have been able to work out what was wrong but I guess anything is possible …….is it?
21 February, 2012 at 7:10 pm #489836If a 5 yr old tried to cut off his penis I would be concerned that someone has been inappropriate with him…5 yr olds are happy naughty children
21 February, 2012 at 7:21 pm #489837@kent f OBE wrote:
If a 5 yr old tried to cut off his penis I would be concerned that someone has been inappropriate with him…5 yr olds are happy naughty children
True. Personally none of this adds up to me. I have concerns about the parents, their willingness to yield to the “I want” tantrums of their son, their short sightedness and their decision to go public with it.
To me it seems like some form of Munchausen’s syndrome by proxy.
21 February, 2012 at 7:39 pm #489838One thing that seemed odd to me when I read the newspaper article… the mother stated that she had concerns when he liked his long blonde hair putting in a pony tail or pigtails… I did wonder why her little boy had long blonde hair? and also if she had concerns why she agreed to style it in girly styles for him?
I agree Panda, something not right about it.
Based on those doubts I think the worst thing possible would be surgery… its not possible right now to establish what the little guy would want for himself as an adult…. Im not sure what the answer is…. but certainly not surgery..
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