Fifty Shades of Grey……….

Am I the only person who has given up on 50 shades? I’m wondering if there is something wrong with me after friends …gasped when I told them :shock:

@Sgt Pepper wrote:

. . . . .Give them a bash if you can.

Isn’t that why women buy 50 shades . . . . . ?

@jen_jen wrote:

Just take a look at all the one star and two star reviews on Amazon if you want to know the answer to that… :wink: :lol:

P.S. Loved this one star review which itself got over 400 comments!

By Lazycatfish “CE Wallis”
This review is from: Fifty Shades of Grey (Paperback)

Oh My, I mean really, Oh my, oh my, oh my……No readers, I have not just been whipped (pardon the pun) into a bosom heaving wreck by the size of my partner’s “impressive length”. I have in fact, just dragged myself through to the final page of this ludicrous nonsense and found myself almost speechless. Almost…

The main character, Christian Grey, is quite obviously deranged. This does not however, deter Ana, who for some inexplicable reason, has spent so long with her head in a book that she has never looked in a mirror and noticed that she is a “total babe”. A “total babe” who also happens to be a 21 year old virgin. No, Ana, in the space of 3 weeks, falls so crazily in love with “Mr Grey” that she manages to bypass the whole deranged thing and instead concentrates all her efforts on a) going from virgin to cuddles and hugs star faster than Hussain Bolt off the blocks and b) deciding whether to let him hit her with stuff. As you do.

As for Mr Grey, obviously, readers can’t be allowed to see him as simply a deranged, manipulative psycho so let’s give him smouldering good looks, a few zillion quid to throw around and hey, and this is the clincher, the ability to love art and music (y’know, like Nazi’s do in the war films). (Note – the bit where he plays the “haunting” piano piece, semi naked, with his eyes closed actually made me laugh so much that I almost wet myself – in a non-orgasmic way. Check it out….enjoy! ). As if that wasn’t enough he also has a personal and financial interest in saving the world from famine. Just that old world peace and cancer to sort out and then hey, job’s a good `un. I mean really, how did the world ever shamble along without him? So what made this beautiful, charismatic and talented man so brutal? Could it be a traumatic childhood perhaps? Why, yes I think it could…yaaaaawn….

So, the 2 beautiful people come together (Oh my, another pun) and the rest of the book is basically about Ana wondering if she should let him hit her with stuff and then letting him hit her with stuff and Mr Grey wondering if he should stop hitting her with stuff but still hitting her with stuff while she whines on about wanting “more” love and less of the hitting stuff and he whines on about how he doesn’t know how to give “more” cos he has only ever hit people with stuff.

In between these nonsensical blatherings they have lots of sex, which, like piano playing, speaking foreign languages and making zillions of quid, he possesses boundless expertise. Obviously. Luckily, virginal Ana also has her “inner Goddess” to guide her on the art of sex play and soon becomes an orgasm machine, chucking them out all over the place in a rampant, fevered haze of lust. So much so that she overlooks Mr Grey’s general nice guy and bends over nicely for a few beatings. She is also too enraptured to take much notice his incessant stalking, which would have got lesser men arrested. Oh, and his `feeder’ tendencies that, if successful, would have surely added a good 10 stone onto Ana’s lovely buttocks which in turn would have incurred the cost of a refurb’ to the `red room of pain’ when his ceiling shackles needed reinforcing. Luckily he can afford it.

As many other readers have noted, the writing is appallingly poor and, if you removed the sex bits, would resemble a love struck teenager’s diary. It’s all been said before so I won’t dwell on it. I will just say, if you are looking for erotic fiction, look elsewhere, if you are looking for an unintentionally laugh out loud bit of fluff and nonsense then crack open a bottle, put your feet up and prepare to be amused. Personally I would just say that there goes a day of my life that I will never get back. Oh my!

Well that saved me deciding whether to buy and read the books or not, its been synopsised so completely i needn’t bother now :lol:

i have a lamp shade stall on the market (TRUE} i sell lamps,shades,uplighters,bases etc
and sell 22 different colours inc gray,its not a big seller gray tbh,my biggest sellers are the usual i wont name them all ,cream pink etc, i for one will not be reading this book ive seen and heard it all before
dont beleive the hype about this book
it will be next weeks fish and chip wrapper.

I think finally the reality of how awful 50 shades of rubbish is, is now being realised.

The best reply I have read in this thread has been Poli’s post on page two which has shown a lot of reasoning and reality. 50 shades of rubbish bears no similarity to real life nor anything that would be in the least bit possible.

Quite honestly what is the purpose of punishing someone for doing something wrong when they don’t know that they have done something wrong? I guess the whole point of Poli’s post was that a dominant is a guide to the submissive and not someone who indiscriminately hit’s someone with a belt.

When we lived in the UK we had a couple of friends where we lived and though they would never have accepted it they were the most dom/sub couple you could ever meet by their actions which in no way could be described in 50 shades of rubbish.

50 shades of rubbish is just that – rubbish!