Eva and Master’s battle of the sexes

@andymcnabb wrote:

I guess that depends who your getting the “offer” from……………………………..

hmmm

@eva licious wrote:

yr not letting the side down at all su, the guy’s jokes are good

OK they are funny but the fellas still ave to put up wi hair up their nostrils and all over there bum everywhere but on there head x

Why do women have periods?
Because they deserve them.

Q: What is loud and obnoxious?
A: A woman.

Q: How do you blind a woman?
A: You put a windshield in front of her.

Q: What have women and condoms got in common?
A: If they’re not on your dick they’re in your wallet.

Q: How is a woman like an airplane?
A: Both have cockpits.

What’s 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild?
A $100 bill.

How many male chauvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Let her do the dishes in the dark.

What do toys and womens breasts have in common?
They were both originally made for kids, but dad ends up playing with

What is love?
The delusion that one woman differs from another.

Monkeys and girls both are same. they fight only for Banana,
Boys and rats are same they search only holes.

Q: What do you call a girl with Pms and Esp?
A: A bitch who thinks she knows everything.

Q: What’s the difference between a woman and a refrigerator?
A: A refrigerator doesn’t moan when you put meat in it.

What is the difference between your wife and your job?
After five years your job still sucks.

Why did God create lesbians?
So feminists couldn’t breed.

Q: Why did God give men penises?
A: So they’d have at least one way to shut a woman up.

Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A: Because they don’t have balls.

Q. Why do women talk so much?
A. Because they have two sets of lips.

Q: What’s the difference between your bonus and your dick?
You don’t have to beg a woman to blow your bonus.

Q: Why is a woman like a laxative?
They both irritate the shit out of you.

Q. What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man?
A. $4.99 a minute

Q: What are the small bumps around a woman’s nipples for?
A: It’s Braille for “suck here”.

Q: Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
A: He died laughing before he could tell anybody.

Q: Why are hurricanes normally named after women?
A: When they come they’re wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.

Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, feminists can’t change anything.

Q: Why did God invent the yeast infection?
A: So women know what it’s like to live with an irritating cunt.

Q: What’s the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
A: 45 lbs.

Q: How do you know when it’s time to get a new dishwasher?
A: When the old one expects you to “do your share”
Q: Why did God make women?
A: You think he’s gonna wash the dishes?

Q: How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A: Marry It!

Why do women fake orgasms ?
Because they think men care.

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None, it should be opened when she brings it to you.

Q: A man runs over his wife. Whose fault is it?
A: The man, he shouldn’t be driving in the kitchen.

Q: Why does a man like to see two women kiss each other?
A: Two less mouths that are bitching.

Q: Why can’t women drive?
A: Because there’s no road between the kitchen and the bedroom
Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

Q: If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
A: Made her chain too long.

Q: How is a woman like a condom?
A: Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

Q: Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle?
A: She knows she’s given her last blow job.

Q: How do you know when a woman is going to say something intelligent?
A: When her first words are, “A man once told me…..”

Q: How do you fix a woman’s watch?
A: You don’t, there’s a clock on the oven.

Q: Why haven’t women been to the moon ?
A: Because it doesn’t need cleaning yet!

Keep the jokes coming, Funny from both sides but

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBmMU_iwe6U&ob=av2e

The End.

Boring Thirty seconds in an no naked female…… left after that.