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Posts
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If Men wrote Cosmo
Q: My husband wants to experience three-in-a-bed-sex with me and my sister.
A: Your husband is clearly devoted to you. He cannot get enough of you, so he goes for the next best thing your sister. Far from being an issue, this will bring all of the family together. Why not get some cousins involved? If you are still apprehensive, then let him go with your relatives, buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don’t mention this aspect of his behavior.Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex with him.
A: Do it. Sperm is not only great tasting, but has only 10 calories a spoonful. It is nutritious and helps you to keep your figure and gives a great glow to the skin. Interestingly, a man knows this. His offer to you to perform oral sex with him is totally selfless. Oral sex is extremely painful for a man. This shows he loves you. Best thing to do is to thank him, buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal.Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
A: This is perfectly natural behavior – and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. Far from being pleasurable, a night out with the boys is a stressful affair, and to get back to you is a relief for your partner. Just look back at how emotional and happy the man is when he returns to his stable home. Best thing to do is to buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don’t mention this aspect of his behavior.Q: My husband doesn’t know where my clitoris is.
A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it, do it in your own time. To help with the family budget you may wish to video tape yourself while doing this, and to sell it at flea markets. To ease your selfish guilt, buy your man a nice expensive present, and cook him a delicious meal.Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A: Foreplay to a man is very hurtful. What it means is that you do not love your man as much as you should – he has to work a lot to get you in the mood. Abandon all wishes in this area, and make it up to him by buying a nice expensive present, and cooking a nice meal.Q: My husband has never given me an orgasm.
A: The female orgasm is a myth. It is fostered by militant, man-hating feminists and is a danger to the family unit. Don’t mention it again to him and show your love to him by buying a nice expensive present and don’t forget to cook him a delicious meal.Child birth: So easy even a woman can do it.
we have to be back in front by now…………………
u boys are doing well i have to admit for the less intelligent sex
mwah master xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
@eva licious wrote:
u boys are doing well i have to admit for the less intelligent sex
mwahh master xxxx
xxxx to you my gorgeous…
I love to pamper my girlfriend after she’s had a stressful day at work.
I get her to text me when she’s leaving so I can get the hot tap running, swirl around the foam and bubbles and time everything perfectly so that, the moment she walks through the door, the dishes are piled up and waiting for her.Prayers
A Girls Prayer
Lord, Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who’s not a creep,
One who’s handsome, smart and strong,
One who’s willy is thick and long.
One who thinks before he speaks,
When he promises to call, he won’t wait weeks.
I pray that he is gainfully employed,
And when I spend his cash, won’t be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! send me a man who’ll make love to my mind,
Knows just what to say, when I ask “How big’s my behind?”
One who’ll make love till my body’s a twitching,
In the hall, the loo, the garden and kitchen!
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And never attempt to f*ck my best friend.
And as I kneel and pray by my bed,
I look at the dork you sent me instead.
Amen.
A Boy’s Prayer
Lord, I pray for a nympho
with huge boobs
who owns a liquor store.
Amen
Ladies … am I letting the side down by admitting that I am finding the boys’ jokes really funny?!!
I am embarrassed to my feminist roots :)
@simplysu wrote:
Ladies … am I letting the side down by admitting that I am finding the boys’ jokes really funny?!!
I am embarrassed to my feminist roots :)
Hey I’m a feminist.
Well you’ve got to be to get a shag nowadays
@themaster wrote:
@simplysu wrote:
Ladies … am I letting the side down by admitting that I am finding the boys’ jokes really funny?!!
I am embarrassed to my feminist roots :)
Hey I’m a feminist.
Well you’ve got to be to get a shag nowadays
Doesn’t seem to work for me!! :wink:
I guess that depends who your getting the “offer” from……………………………..
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