Errr thanks

Excellent……to my 144,000 friends
>
> My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time
> and trouble to send me “forwards” over the past 12 months. Thank you for
> making me feel safe, secure, blessed and healthy.
>
> * Extra thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat crap in the glue
> on envelopes – cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I
> need to seal an envelope.
>
> * Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
> Because of your genuine concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because I
> know it can remove toilet stains, which is not exactly an appealing
> characteristic.
>
> * I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
> pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
>
> * I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
> water buffalo on a hot day.
>
> * I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a
> perfume sample and rob me.
>
> * I no longer eat KFC because their “chickens” are actually horrible
> mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
>
> * I no longer worry about my soul because at last count, I have
> 363,214 angels looking out for me.
>
> * Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I
> forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five
> minutes.
>
> * I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl on the
> internet who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th
> time).
>
> * I no longer have any money at all in fact – but that will change
> once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for
> participating in their special on-line email program.
>
> Yes, I want to thank you all so much for looking out for me that I will
> now return the favour!
>
> If you don’t send this email to at least 144,000 people in the next 7
> minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhoea will land on
> your head at 5:00 PM (EST) this afternoon. I know this will occur
> because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour’s
> ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s beautician.
>
> DO IT NOW OR ELSE.
>
> And have a nice day!