ER … stories that make u go … OHHHHHH….

**PRICKLY PAIR**

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OUCH! In Michigan, a man came into the ER with
lacerations to his penis. He complained that his wife had”…a rat in
her
privates…” which bit him during sex (not the first conclusion I would
have drawn, I don’t think). After an examination of his wife, it was
revealed that she had a surgical needle left inside her after
a recent hysterectomy.

**PING PONG ANYONE**?

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A 20 year old man came into The ER with a
stony
mass in his rectum. He said that he and his boyfriend were fooling
around
with concrete mix, when his boyfriend had the idea of pouring the mix
into
his anus using a funnel (you’d do the same, I’m sure!)?!!. The
concrete
then hardened, (no shyte; Sherlock!), causing constipation and pain.
Under
general anesthesia, a perfect concrete cast of the man’s rectum was
removed along with a ping pong ball.

(Boy – We live sheltered lives!)

**BLIND DRUNK**

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A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER
complaining
of severe pain while trying to remove his contact lenses. He said that
they
would come out halfway, but they always popped back in. A nurse tried
to
help using a suction pump, but without success.
Finally, a doctor examined him and discovered the man did not have his
contact lenses in at all. He had been trying to rip out the membrane
of
his cornea.

**OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH**!

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A couple hobbled into a Washington State
emergency room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his
hands
around his abdomen and the woman had hers around her head. They
eventually
explained to doctors that they had gone out that evening for a
romantic
dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept Under the table to
administer oral sex to the man (Classy or what??).While in the act,
she
had an epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp down on the man’s
penis
and wrench it from side to side. In agony and desperation, the man
grabbed
a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let go.