Did he fall??? ….. (or was he pushed????)

Well I assembled a line-up of the usual suspects and I must say..they all looked pretty shifty to me. Little Jack Horner just stood in the corner..his habit of sticking in his thumb..willy-nilly.. could see him as a possible contender. Then there’s Georgie Porgie..he likes to kiss the girls and make ’em cry but does he have any known form with molesting eggs? Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet..which must have made her eyes water..did she blunder over to Humpty’s wall and blindly thrust him from his perch? And then there’s Baa Baa Black Sheep..er..the black sheep of nursery world..was he jealous of Humpty’s party trick of shooting backwards out of a hen’s ar.se? Maybe the real perpetrator can be revealed in this recently discovered version of the rhyme..

hmmmm?

Well, we know that the incident/accident happened a few centuries ago, as there was a king, because all of his men, and their horses tried to put him back together, yep, the NHS was bad back then too…, so bad that emergency treatment had to be carried out by the king and gang! And horses..

Ok, well, where was the wall he sat on? Was it a dodgy wall? If so he could have sued the council, that’s of course it was that of a council owned property.

Now, everyone assumes that Humpty Dumpty was an egg, but was he? If so, then it’s no yolk. OOPS, did i say yolk? I mean joke..

Maybe Humpty was having an affair with a woman, her husband found out, he probably wanted to rid of him. This is where the rhyme could come from. The man could have been tried for the assault etc, and said..

“Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall”… Blah, Blah,..

Maybe though he did actually fall. He could have been P*ssed, stoned, could have fallen asleep, who knows?

I did know another version to the song though, it went like,..

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, eating a big banana,.. Where do you think he put the skin,…

Now, this could be true, he could have eaten the banana, put the skin somewhere he shouldn’t have, the person weren’t too happy, so pushed him, and said “take that Humpty”.. Just like Take That ARE numpty’s..

Anyway, i think i’ve said enough, i’ll try and seek the help of a psychic and get back to you, or a medium to contact the spirit of Humpty. :D

The Labour party urged him to jump because he was carrying concealed weapons (further investigation revealed that he had no weapons but was indeed a very very bad egg)

The Conservatives supported the Labour party as they thought the public were worried about bad eggs, until they realised the public were more worried about lies, damn lies n 45 minutes so they stated he had been made to jump from the frying pan into the fire and it was all Labours fault after all

The Lib Dems said he should have been left on the wall, it was his right to stay there and not our right to force him off (though they admitted under Health and Safety it was still very dangerous if he landed on a weapon he may or may not have)

The BNP said he was a bad egg but we shouldnt be wasting money urging him to jump, we should wait for someone else to do it…but now he had jumped, decided to give him a good kicking anyway (you have to crack some eggs to find the white inside)

The Amercians didnt care whether he fell or not as they had failed to push him off in 1991 even though the mess would have been much less. They now realise what a great feckin omlette has been made though n it will be many years before most can stomach it

N the rest of us sit bac n watch all of Humpty’s mates get really pished off with the way he has been treated simply for being an egg, the way all other eggs are tarred with the same shell n how its alright for others to crack eggs. And now we’re all walking on egg shells

What a feckin yolk

@Ow£n Ka$h wrote:

I found a pic of the accident/crime scene here. :(

pmsl owen x