Boards Index General discussion Off topic chat Did he fall??? ….. (or was he pushed????)

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  • #5881

    Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
    Humpty Dumpty had a great fall

    …. so the question is, did he fall or was he pushed?????

    Now I know that you may think this a bit trivial at Chtistmas time, but I urge you to give this matter some serious consideration.

    If he fell it may have just been an accident – even though his own behaviour might have contributed to the accident. There could be Health & Safety implications for example. Sitting on walls is undoubtedly dangerous behaviour and carries with it the risk of serious injury.

    However, if he was pushed, then this is a far more serious matter. At the least it would be common assault, and if he was injured as a result of the fall it could be GBH. The pusher could well end up with a custodial sentence.

    So come on people … what do you think????? was he pushed or was it just an accident???

    And most important of all – Who did it?????

    #254270

    He fell PB whilst holdin a can of spray paint ready to graffiti I HATE JUST CHAT on the wall…….. and he woz just about to be served wiv an asbo by all the kings men , they really didnt try very hard to put him back together again they just let there horses stomp all over him to make sure the job woz done good n proper……….how do i know??? i got it all on cctv!!!! :D :wink:

    #254271

    Well I assembled a line-up of the usual suspects and I must say..they all looked pretty shifty to me. Little Jack Horner just stood in the corner..his habit of sticking in his thumb..willy-nilly.. could see him as a possible contender. Then there’s Georgie Porgie..he likes to kiss the girls and make ’em cry but does he have any known form with molesting eggs? Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet..which must have made her eyes water..did she blunder over to Humpty’s wall and blindly thrust him from his perch? And then there’s Baa Baa Black Sheep..er..the black sheep of nursery world..was he jealous of Humpty’s party trick of shooting backwards out of a hen’s ar.se? Maybe the real perpetrator can be revealed in this recently discovered version of the rhyme..

    Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
    The daft ovid toss-potter had a great fall
    A big hairy spider scuttled slyly away
    To scare Muffet girl shiitless
    and splatt egg in her whey..

    There was an old woman who lived in a shoe
    she had several asbos..a restraining order too
    she had to go thieving to top up her grog
    for her favourite tipple was lovely egg-nog

    hmmmm?

    #254272

    @esmeralda wrote:

    Well I assembled a line-up of the usual suspects and I must say..they all looked pretty shifty to me. Little Jack Horner just stood in the corner..his habit of sticking in his thumb..willy-nilly.. could see him as a possible contender. Then there’s Georgie Porgie..he likes to kiss the girls and make ’em cry but does he have any known form with molesting eggs? Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet..which must have made her eyes water..did she blunder over to Humpty’s wall and blindly thrust him from his perch? And then there’s Baa Baa Black Sheep..er..the black sheep of nursery world..was he jealous of Humpty’s party trick of shooting backwards out of a hen’s ar.se? Maybe the real perpetrator can be revealed in this recently discovered version of the rhyme..

    Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
    The daft ovid toss-potter had a great fall
    A big hairy spider scuttled slyly away
    To scare Muffet girl shiitless
    and splatt egg in her whey..

    There was an old woman who lived in a shoe
    she had several asbos..a restraining order too
    she had to go thieving to top up her grog
    for her favourite tipple was lovely egg-nog

    hmmmm?

    LMAO Esme xxx

    #254273

    Well, we know that the incident/accident happened a few centuries ago, as there was a king, because all of his men, and their horses tried to put him back together, yep, the NHS was bad back then too…, so bad that emergency treatment had to be carried out by the king and gang! And horses..

    Ok, well, where was the wall he sat on? Was it a dodgy wall? If so he could have sued the council, that’s of course it was that of a council owned property.

    Now, everyone assumes that Humpty Dumpty was an egg, but was he? If so, then it’s no yolk. OOPS, did i say yolk? I mean joke..

    Maybe Humpty was having an affair with a woman, her husband found out, he probably wanted to rid of him. This is where the rhyme could come from. The man could have been tried for the assault etc, and said..

    “Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall”… Blah, Blah,..

    Maybe though he did actually fall. He could have been P*ssed, stoned, could have fallen asleep, who knows?

    I did know another version to the song though, it went like,..

    Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, eating a big banana,.. Where do you think he put the skin,…

    Now, this could be true, he could have eaten the banana, put the skin somewhere he shouldn’t have, the person weren’t too happy, so pushed him, and said “take that Humpty”.. Just like Take That ARE numpty’s..

    Anyway, i think i’ve said enough, i’ll try and seek the help of a psychic and get back to you, or a medium to contact the spirit of Humpty. :D

    #254274

    One of the kings men got smashed on vodka and pushed him off the wall – the little get.

    He thought it stupid that an egg was able to live

    #254275

    The Labour party urged him to jump because he was carrying concealed weapons (further investigation revealed that he had no weapons but was indeed a very very bad egg)

    The Conservatives supported the Labour party as they thought the public were worried about bad eggs, until they realised the public were more worried about lies, damn lies n 45 minutes so they stated he had been made to jump from the frying pan into the fire and it was all Labours fault after all

    The Lib Dems said he should have been left on the wall, it was his right to stay there and not our right to force him off (though they admitted under Health and Safety it was still very dangerous if he landed on a weapon he may or may not have)

    The BNP said he was a bad egg but we shouldnt be wasting money urging him to jump, we should wait for someone else to do it…but now he had jumped, decided to give him a good kicking anyway (you have to crack some eggs to find the white inside)

    The Amercians didnt care whether he fell or not as they had failed to push him off in 1991 even though the mess would have been much less. They now realise what a great feckin omlette has been made though n it will be many years before most can stomach it

    N the rest of us sit bac n watch all of Humpty’s mates get really pished off with the way he has been treated simply for being an egg, the way all other eggs are tarred with the same shell n how its alright for others to crack eggs. And now we’re all walking on egg shells

    What a feckin yolk

    #254276

    I found a pic of the accident/crime scene here. :(

    #254277

    @Ow£n Ka$h wrote:

    I found a pic of the accident/crime scene here. :(

    pmsl owen x

Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)

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