Dennis Waterman

@londonseagull wrote:

@panda12 wrote:

@londonseagull wrote:

Wordsworth, I find you a very articulate poster and if I came across and a ‘knob’ I apologise. I wasn’t talking about Mr Waterman personally, I was talking in general. Women do, many times, cause men to lose their temper, and whether or not it is right, men will retaliate. It may be repulsive, which is not defendable, but sometimes, just sometimes, these women really do deserve a punch. My ex wife once told me she deliberately got me angry in order to get a reaction. I didn’t punch her however, I just told her to get out of the room and proceeded to rip it apart. Women are not stupid, they know what they are doing.

Children cause their fathers’s to lose their temper as well. Is it okay for the father to lose it and hit the children?

Men, woman and children who resort to violence whatever the provocation need help.

Mums don’t hit kids? Grow up.

It’s not about it being OK, because it isn’t. Actions speak louder than words, and I reckon if Seagull, thought it was OK he wouldn’t be talking about taking out his temper on furniture.

At the risk of being unpatriotic, what I think we need is a verbal and behavioural vocabulary for dealing with heightened emotions.

I remember working with someone who was always talking about emotions and how it was important to be honest and non-judgmental about them. Trouble is, he was a bit of a succubus for people’s emotions, feeding on the more vulnerable ones, like sadness, grief, regret, insecurity. The slightest show of power in the form of joy or anger and he went right into blame mode, trying to devalue the expression and the person. It left me really suspicious of people who trot out therapy-speak.

Sometimes simply acknowledging “I am angry” “I am sad” “I am happy” can help us own our feelings and deal with them non-destructively and be less vulnerable to people who will exploit our emotions. Not sure what the point is I’m trying to make, but thanks for reading.

@(f)politics? wrote:

you make a good point words about being honest about emotions the only problem with that sometimes for various reasons, whether you have no one to share them with, or people dont understand you and just tell you to get on with it or gloss over the subject not wanting to know, these things can build up and cause a rare reaction to their normal behaviours, simply because everyone and i mean everyone, or anyone (look at the vicar on emmerdale lol ) are capable of reaching a point where reason doesnt come into it, this can result in breakdowns, violent behaviours and so forth. Repeated behaviours like this are not acceptable and a different thing entirely.
Just for the record i am in no way condoning any form of domestic violence either towards a man or a woman. These feelings can be taken to extreme reactions more so with the use of crutches, ie.. alcohol and or drugs, none of it an excuse merely making the point every one can be human and have weaknesses or fail in reasonable and acceptable behaviours if the mind is pushed to an extreme. And yes these people need help i agree with panda, on that.
I would also like to add that verbal and emotional abuse, especially repeatedly, can be as harmful, indeed i would say at times more harmful too.

This might be where Mr Waterman’s linguistic distinctions might have some validity. There are abusers whose behaviour stems from built up emotions such as frustration or anger. There are also those who consciously or otherwise groom victims, using emotional and verbal abuse to rob them of their personal and social identity before exploiting the resulting dependency and vulnerability with shows of violent power.

@wordsworth60 wrote:

@(f)politics? wrote:

you make a good point words about being honest about emotions the only problem with that sometimes for various reasons, whether you have no one to share them with, or people dont understand you and just tell you to get on with it or gloss over the subject not wanting to know, these things can build up and cause a rare reaction to their normal behaviours, simply because everyone and i mean everyone, or anyone (look at the vicar on emmerdale lol ) are capable of reaching a point where reason doesnt come into it, this can result in breakdowns, violent behaviours and so forth. Repeated behaviours like this are not acceptable and a different thing entirely.
Just for the record i am in no way condoning any form of domestic violence either towards a man or a woman. These feelings can be taken to extreme reactions more so with the use of crutches, ie.. alcohol and or drugs, none of it an excuse merely making the point every one can be human and have weaknesses or fail in reasonable and acceptable behaviours if the mind is pushed to an extreme. And yes these people need help i agree with panda, on that.
I would also like to add that verbal and emotional abuse, especially repeatedly, can be as harmful, indeed i would say at times more harmful too.

This might be where Mr Waterman’s linguistic distinctions might have some validity. There are abusers whose behaviour stems from built up emotions such as frustration or anger. There are also those who consciously or otherwise groom victims, using emotional and verbal abuse to rob them of their personal and social identity before exploiting the resulting dependency and vulnerability with shows of violent power.

The grooming of behaviour is totally unacceptable. The being pushed to a point could well be acceptable. I’m not a wife beater, therefore I can only talk through sense. End of, good night, loved JC!

its not a case of justifying, merely understanding, doesnt mean its right just how it can happen

Have only just seen this thread. My take, and it is only my personal opinion, is that no one , man or woman , has the right to “beat up ” anyone else. However, everyone, male and female, has the right to self defence. If a man hits a woman she has the right to defend herself. If a woman hits a man, he has an equal right to hit back.