Death by papercuts

So you dismiss those that disagree with you as trolls.

I have a suggestion for you.
Find out where your local women’s refuge centre is.
Contact someone in authority there.
Tell them you’d like to understand more about domestic violence, maybe even ask if you could volunteer some time.
See those women, and often their children, and how they are living. Look them in the eye, hear their stories, then tell them what you’ve said here.
I don’t think you’d even tell them your definition of domestic violence.
You wouldn’t dismiss them as being weak or having mental health issues other than those caused by their domestic situation.
You may even come away feeling quite humbled.

But one more point – it isn’t just women who suffer domestic abuse, it’s men too. And if it’s hard for a woman to seek help escaping domestic abuse, it’s even harder for men.

Domestic abuse is not exclusively a reference to physical abuse.
Emotional, mental and physical are all forms of abuse.

Some people grow up thinking anger, strictness and even abuse translates as love. Parents automatically are expected to love their children so their every action is considered one of love, even subconsciously in the child’s mind. If this mentality is carried on through adulthood then most likely people will find themselves in unhealthy relationships.

(From a woman’s point – I say this so much and have exhausted this but…)
Women are natural nurturers, we want to make people we love content and usually it’s through emotions we do this, through loyalty and “hanging in there” that we try and “prove” love. The partner usually uses manipulation, mental and emotional abuse to convince her to stay.
Unfortunately emotions sometimes overpowers logic.

Some women feel they don’t have a choice but to stay with an abuser purely because she has been a homemaker for so long, she has children and so leaving would mean an expensive messy divorce with nowhere to go.

I am not excusing abuse or advocating people to stay with abusers, it’s just a point of understanding I came across and explained a lot in my mind.

Having read this thread, i would agree there is a troll in it, but its not melody, eva, or any of the others who have shown compassion and understanding. And i will no doubt be labelled a troll because i don’t agree with Blossom but so be it.

Eva and Melody, you are both very brave and amazing women and are proof that it although its difficult to walk away from an abusive relationship it IS possible. And Eva, my friend did the same as you, she pushed me away and wouldn’t see that her boyfriend was an emotionally abusive person. She kept trying to defend him and yes Blossom it DID mess with her mental health but sleep deprivation does that to you. And if you have never experienced that kind of torture then you are very lucky and i also sincerely hope you never do.

It’s also very easy to judge if you haven’t experienced it and it’s not about someone saying something to hurt your feelings, it starts so small you don’t actually realise it is happening. A small criticism here and there and then it builds, i don’t want you to do this or i don’t want you to do that. Then when you disagree with something they want, it is “you are so selfish” and because it is the first time you disagreed, you think, yeah maybe i am. In my friend’s case it was ” i don’t care for your spitefulness and vindictiveness” he also tried that on me, mainly because as most men and women who emotionally abusive they are spineless cowards who can’t formulate an argument when faced with someone who will stand up to them. Oh and they also tend to use mistakes you have made in the past to hold power over you, again the spineless coward had nothing to say when i called him out on the “things i didn’t know” about my friend.

It must be so wonderful to be as perfect as you blossom, it really must, but i’d rather be less than perfect as i am and to be able to feel empathy and compassion for another human being. That’s all from this troll :D