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Posts
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Dear Nosey
How quickly you identify my insecurities. You can tell that I feel my failure with women is holding me back. Would this be some sort of aversion therapy? How wonderful you are at cutting right to the heart of the problem.
Slightly nervous of Worcester
Dear Slightly Nervous of Worcester,
Then an all-female assessment board it is, I’ll see when the board can next convene and we’ll arrange an appointment at everyone’s earliest convenience. We usually try to do it around a full moon. I will be in touch in due course.
(Psssst, Kenty, Susie, Sarah, we have a victim…I mean, patient)
Dear Reassurer
Can I bring my mother?
Quivering of Worcester
Dear Quivering,
Only if she joins the assessment board and promises to be ruthlessly honest.
(wonders where her fellow conspirators – I mean assessors – have all got to)
Dear JC
I am deliberately staying out of the way of James and Jen (Jenames known in the tabloids) because I don’t want to be a goosberry :lol: Do you think I am too kind? :lol:Yours graciously
Kenty
Wasen’t included on the board :oops:
lmao @ jenames though
Dear JC
Last night my house was surrounded by paparazzi…I had no idea why but each time I peeped through the curtains there were shouts for just one pic from someone names Jenames? I had no idea who this person was and Mr Jen was most unimpressed cos they wouldn’t let the chinese takeaway delivery through, he has his figure to maintain after all.
Today I’ve discovered that someone I consider a friend who has been strangely quiet for the last few days might…just might…have sold a scurrilous story to the tabloids based on some harmless flirting and banter.
My reputation is in tatters but more worrying is the constant pursuit of the paparazzi who are asking if I have any exotic pictures of myself…I offered them some of the pics of me on holiday in the Maldives but apparently they weren’t exotic enough.
What do you suggest I should to remedy this situation?
Yours in dark glasses 8)
Jen*jumps on the first flight out to Cuba*
Dear JC
Now I have a new dilemma, a quandary of some magnitude.
Do I share the scurrilous pictures I have acquired of a lady of interesting repute now, or do I wait for better offers?
Yours hesitantly
Peeping Jim
Dear Peeping Jim,
As we have all been privvy to pics of her smarties I suggest you make enquiries as to the value of said pictures. BTW if they offer you more than 10 quid mate snap their hands off and run for it.
Regards
A Smartie fan
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