Christmas "jokes"

Elf warning ……. these jokes may make you laugh…or groan :lol:

Q. What king is the children’s favorite at Christmas time?
A. A stocking!

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Santa goes up and down so many chimneys that he’s thinking of getting a yearly flue shot…

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Christmas Pizza Joke
Good King Wenceslas phoned Domino’s for a pizza.
The salesgirl asked him:- ‘Do you want your usual? Deep pan, crisp and even?’

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What does Santa call reindeer that don’t work?
Dinner.

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What do you call the fear of getting stuck in a chimney?
Santaclaustrophobia

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Why do reindeer wear fur coats?
Because they would look silly in plastic macs

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Mother bought a huge turkey for Christmas dinner.
‘That must have cost a fortune!’ I said .
‘Actually I got it for a poultry amount,’ she said.

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Why was Santa’s little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem.

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“I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.” ~ Bernard Manning.

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The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin. ~ Jay Leno