Childrens Stories and Rhymes.

When i can, i read my little sister (Children in my family) stories/poems, and can’t believe some of the titles of these poems, aswell as the content of the book(s)

Read these lol, and tell me what you think. Add your own too.

This one is called: “Moses’ Big Adventure.” (A Lift The Flap Book)

On the second page, it states that God spoke to moses from a BURNING BUSH. :shock: Who’s bush was this, and why didn’t she ask the doctor for some cream? Not only that, but WHY was God in HER bush?

On the back of this book, it says: Young children can read how Moses heard God speak from a burning bush, while they lift fun flaps to search for hidden animals. (Under these flaps lay CRABS lol, a P/USSY, a FISH lol, but to my disapointment, NO HARES.)

Now the poem book:

THERE WAS AN OLD WOMAN WHO HAD THREE SONS.

There was an old woman who had three sons,
Jerry, and James, and John:
Jerry was HUNG, James was DROWNED, John was LOST, and was NEVER FOUND, And there was an end of the three sons, Jerry, James, and John.

WARNING to kids, especially girls, when you grow up, if you come across three brothers who’s names appear to be Jerry, James, and John, Just don’t go there! [-X

There’s one here titled: “Humpty Dumpty’s poem,” and there’s no mention of the man himself, just some rubbish about fishes and winter.

FROG WENT A – COURTIN:

Mr Froggie went a – courtin, and he did ride, :shock: Sword and Pistol by his side.
He went to missus Mouse’s HALL, gave a loud knock, and gave a loud call. (I’m so glad HALL was spelt like that by the way.)

“Pray, missus mousie, air you within?”
“Yes kind sir, i set an spin.”
He tuk miss mousie on his knee,
and sez “Miss mousie, will you marry me?”

( I would Miss Mousie, he’s already had his wicked way, may aswell marry the randy git too.)

There’s another one here, titled: “I love P/ussy.” (Poem doesn’t match up to it’s title though, thankfully.)

MY MOTHER AND YOUR MOTHER: :shock:

My mother, and your mother, went over the way;
said my mother, to your mother,
it’s chop – a – nose day! (Evil biatches)

I MET A MAN:

As i was going up the stair,
i met a man who wasn’t there.
He wasn’t there again today –
OH! How i wish he’d go away.

(Please mum and dad, take this child to see a Psychologist.) [-o<
Title: “A CAT CAME FIDDLING.” [-X (Not for kids)

Don’t know what’s worse. This book, or me coming here and telling you all about it lol. :-s