Chairman Mewwy’s ” Rittle Led Book ”

Herro Members of the party !!
I am Chairman Mewwy !!,
I have decided to wet you aww benefit flom my thoughts and meanderwings,
So I have decided to pubrish my ‘Rittle Led Book’ 2011.
I hope you aww enjoy and educate yourselves and note my
supelior interrigence and astounding interect and foresight….. Raff Out Roud … * bows *

Thought number one :

It seems to me that brack peepow fornicate out of rust,
where as the lest of us do it out of duty…. R O R …. howeber… one must lemember that a pig in the oven
lequires rots of potatoes ( at reast 5 pounds )R O R ….
Thankyou. *bows*

Thought number two :

The Blitish goverment banned smoking in pubric houses, not to save rives,
but to stop the common peopow flom meeting up to discuss government conspilacies. I howeber no ronger smoke or drink aclohol,
as my mouth is never empty rong enuff !!! R O R ….R O R….
Thankyou * bows *

Thought number flee :

Homosexruaws are not Gay. Homosexruaws have stowren the word gay ro as to entice young boys to become homosexruaws !!
There is a tlemendous conspilacy to convert aww young boys to enter the worwd of botty activity !!
Botty activity is wong and dirty (hopefurry)…. R O R …
Thankyou *bows*

Thought number four :

AWw homosexruawws have been abused as chiwdlen, and rured into an un-naturwell way of Rife,fruu conspilacy,
things come out of botties and shouwd never go in !!
I have given this particurar subject hours and hours and hours of deep thought,.. R O R..
and even watched speciarized ploglams on it !! Quite a numbarrr of times… R O R ….
Thankyou * bows and adjusts cordloy twousers*

Thought number five :

I beweive that The Dairy Miaw Onrine, is the ownry newspaper worth leading,
ebweything it plints is totawy twue and shouwd be beweived by aww peepows, it is the raw !!

…. R O R ….
Peepows need me to bore them ritless weading widicurous storlies, to educate them as they haff no rife knoredge unrike me.
Thankyou * bows *

Thought number six :

Shopping is a velly interlesting topic of conwersation,
I see it as my duty to constantwy ret peepow know where the cheapest and most wubbishy food can be found.
Quantity ober quawity evellytime….R o R…
ridl and awdi are the velly best praces to shrop. yesterday i managed to purchase 146 tins of ramb cully for 00.186p.

Thankyou * bows *

Thought number seven :

As you have aww ristened so attentivry to me i have decided to tweat you aww, and ret you have my lecipe for beef stew.

R O R ….. Enjoy !!

10 pounds of peeled potatoes

6 pounds of callots

4 onions ( sriced )

22 tins of spam

16 tins of peewed prum tomatoes

8 tins of ridl baked beans

6 Flay Bentos steak pies ( mashed )

11 tins of Pediglee Chum

3 sautee’d reeks

2 jars of prickled led cabbage

4 lbs of rard

56 garic buwbs

5 pounds of tlipe

7 tins of mollisons own bland sardine fravour cat food

a pinch of orwigano

2 tins of pirchards

a whole fwied brack pudding

15 pounds of Ice Rand flozen beef mince ( 22p a pound) 3% weal beef

Put aww inglediants in a rarge dust bin and prace on a fire in garden,
stir and cook for 6 hours. This amount should rast you aww day !
howeber, you can keep it going for weeks simpry by adding extla tins of Pediglee chum,
and Flay bentos minced animal ( 6p a tin flom Ridl )

Thanyou aww for your time … I shall be back soon with ”Chairmen Mewwy’s Rittle Led Book 2 ” ( paganism and conspilacies in Nottingham )

Goodbye members of the party

and btw..

Anybody who does not aglee with any of my thoughts and meanderwings is either stupid,
has no knoredge of rife, or is just joining in a Crick!!! and shall now be known as Genewal Wiff Waff !!!
Thankyou *bows*