Can we say nose dive?

Hi everyone. Sorry I haven’t posted much. I’ve been busy looking for a better job and my Internet access is limited. But last night, despite nearly receiving a broken nose, it was one of the coolest nights of my life. You have got to hear this story to believe it.

So last night was the Canadian air guitar championship. The evening started with the dark horse round. This is the round where all the non-qualifiers from the regional championships compete for a spot. So I had to go toe to toe with five other people in this round in order to make it to the final, which was going to be later on in the evening.

I was the second performer called to the stage. I was watching the first guy, and he did a back flip on the stage, so I was really worried about having to go after that. I was also really worried about having to go so close to the beginning of the show, because if I managed to impress my other competitors who were after me, then they would really have to step up. So I did the only thing that came to mind. I noticed that there were not a lot of people close to the stage, so I decided to do a really cool jumping move I had invented where I land on my feet and go off the stage. Well, lets just say I got lost in the moment and ended up going face first into an air mosh pit, nearly breaking my nose. The crowd went totally nuts over me and started cheering “BROKEN NOSE! BROKEN NOSE!” I mean, you have to admit, it does kind of roll off the tongue easier than my stage name, Dame Air Guitar Goddess.

In the midst of all the cheers, I did hear a couple of people saying “OMG, she’s really hurt. She needs to get to the hospital.” So, in true rock and roll fashion, I get back up, give the crowd the famous devil horn salute and hollered “YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!” and limped my way back onstage. Despite the fact that I had blood gushing down my face, I took the microphone and said “Ladies and gentlemen, in the words of AC/DC, ‘IF YOU WANT BLOOD, YOU GOT IT!!!!!!” Which lead to more fan love.

Then the host came onstage and asked the crowd what kind of score I should get. It was judged the way figure skating is judged, so the highest score is a 6. Everyone was screaming “TEN! TEN! TEN!” Two of the three judges gave me a pretty good score, but one of them gave me a really low score and the entire crowd started booing.

Then, during my friend’s performance, his wig fell off. And the crowd booed him, but he didn’t mind at all.

When it came time to announce who made it to the final, there were two fan favourites: me and another guy. Half of the crowd starts screaming the other guys name, and the other half responded by shouting “BROKEN NOSE!” But the whole thing is decided by the judges score, and the one low mark really hurt my chances so I didn’t get it. But I don’t care. The fans were absolutely in love with me. I even had a couple of reporters approach me backstage asking what could have possibly possessed me to do that. I said to them “Passion, man. Sometimes you just have to suffer for your art. Iggy Pop and Ozzy Osbourne used to do crazy stuff like this all the time. I figure that’s a pretty good standard to aspire to.”

Then they did the finals. I have to admit, that guy who won was awesome and really deserves to go to Finland. And they closed to night by inviting each competitor to perform to Neil Young’s “Rocking in the Free World.”

It ended up being a really awesome night, despite the fact that I had to hold an ice pack to my nose for most of it. But the whole night, EVERYBODY wanted to talk to me. I had people wanting photos, reporters asking me about the experience, people offering me free drinks, and even offers to drive me to the hospital. And no, my nose is not broken. 24 hours later the pain is gone (unless I have to blow my nose. And even then, it’s not painful, just a little uncomfortable).

The video is not on the Internet yet, but on the website it said that videos will be posted soon.

I think “If You Want Blood” by AC/DC will be my song for next year. And maybe I should change my name to Nose Dive.