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Grace Dents latest offering.. says it all. .. read on.
Of late, I’ve developed a soft spot for Darnell. I reckon he’s one of BB9’s most sensitive, wistful souls. His eyesight isn’t 20/20 and his brain might be stuffed with half-formed songs about biscuits, but he doesn’t miss a trick.
Yesterday, as the court of Princess Jen surrounded her IKEA throne, beholding her innate prettiness and faultless ‘realness’, Darnell was leading a subtle yet effective mutiny. And last Thursday as Stu, Luke and Dale quacked on about ‘poor Jen’ who was ‘totally justified to be upset about her painting’, Darnell didn’t play ball at all.
Darnell’s sussed that Jen is basically a shrill mean-spirited version of Beaker from the Muppets in a bedraggled brown wig who uses tears to achieve her goals. ‘We have to look at the root cause of the arguments’ Darnell remarked recently as Jen waltzed about the house telling Stu she was sick of Dale and Dale she was sick of Stu and everyone else that she was sick of both boys for daring to think that wants a relationship, ‘cos she doesn’t, like, right!? Yawn.
Well, I think Darnell is right, Jen is the root cause of house unrest. Like last Thursday, I feel Rex’s worst crime wasn’t smudging that rubbish backwards-child E grade GCSE daubing Jen was comparing to Monet. No, Rex’s biggest crime was never fancying Jen.
Never giving Jen the respect and adoration that befits Jen. Not melting at her mascara clotted eyelashes and bony shoulder blades. Not being interested in giving poor moronic Dale and hapless Stu some competition in their dismal quest to go out with her for a bit until they leave the house and forget about her forever.
Jen, therefore, thinks Rex is arrogant and stroppy. She’s disliked him for weeks and encouraged others to do so too. She knows that even half-asleep Rex has more wit than her, Stu and Dale all put together which annoys her greatly. Thus after an entire week of Rex and his friend Mohammed being in the bad books with Team Princess, thankfully Rex finally gave Jen something good to get her teeth into.
‘It was myyyyyy painting! Ya wuddent do that in an aaaaart gallery!!’ she wailed, her vast forehead crumpled with distraught wrinkles. ‘Ya wuddent gowinto a gallery and smeeeeeeear yerfingers on stuff!’ It took around an hour of repetitive high-pitched screeching before the entire house was involved, mopping Jen’s tears and vying for Rex’s blood.
Read Part Two now
plz god she gets the boot friday. did nothin but whinge throughout the zoo task…….poor jen the suit made her itch. [-o< ](*,)
BIG Brother bosses have finally bowed to pressure from fed-up fans — and will send TWO stunning women into the house tonight.
One is a successful model, identified only by her first name, May.
The other has not been named at all — but is said to be a gorgeous Australian brunette.
An insider told The Sun: “The boys are not going to know what’s hit them — they will be drooling like adolescents.” The source added: “Jen might think she’s the cream of the crop right now but that is about to change.”
The new beauties will be joined by a THIRD woman, who is middle-aged.
They will walk into the house and surprise the other contestants — minutes after the latest evictee is given the boot.
Fans had demanded new female blood after three girls — including eye-candy Stephanie McMichael — left the house.
The first glamorous new housemate May will get felines running high on Big Brother — as she’s a pouting sexpot who has starred in Lynx body spray adverts.
Millions have seen the sultry model plug the men’s deodorant, known for its tongue-in-cheek babe magnet image.
She will arrive tonight with another gorgeous housemate, said to be a dead ringer for Hollywood actress Angelina Jolie.
BB bosses promise the pair will be two of the sexiest housemates in the show’s history. They have been hand-picked by top brass to inject some much-needed glamour into the programme.
An insider said: “We’ve really pushed the boat out with these two — they are absolute babes.
“There’s nothing tacky about them. They’re the best-looking girls we’ve ever had on.”
May is an Asian model who has featured in a variety of adverts and photo-shoots, with the Lynx gig being her most famous.
The unnamed Angelina lookalike — an Aussie in her 20s — is a high-powered executive PA and insiders claim she will be no pushover. One said: “This girl is like something out of every red-blooded male’s fantasy.
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“She’s drop-dead gorgeous — a dead ringer for Angelina.
“You just watch Dale, Stuart and Darnell — those guys will be all over her like a rash.
“Poor old Jennifer is bound to be jealous — that’s assuming she survives on the show.”
The third woman arriving tonight is a theatre director in her 40s.
The source added: “She is not exactly a stunner, but she will add her own dimension to the house.
“She’s very mumsy and could well bring some much-needed calm to the place. Let’s face it, there aren’t exactly many grown-ups in there hence all the silly rows. We’re hoping she’s going to be really good value.”
The trio will make their entrance tonight as part of a special live show at 10.35pm and will be introduced by host Davina McCall.
bring it on!!!! :D/
oh braw.. :) oh roll on Jens eviction !
Ive stopped watching it, I got too bored :?
Bring it on!!! Wish jen was staying now..Wanted too see her face, when they went in. :twisted:
noooooooooooo pink…………will be a lot worse if jen as to go home and watch her 2 pet poodles dale n stuart all over the new girls. :lol: :lol:
oh never knew about newbies! what they like then?
they dont go in till 10.30 tonight shazza..
@sharongooner wrote:
oh never knew about newbies! what they like then?
only seen a pic of the model so far.
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