Beatty’s karaoke (my late friends in memorial)

Hi Beattie, you answered my previous message as I was editing it so you have quick fingers or good cut ‘n’ paste skills or both. Anyway, soz to hear about you losing 6 friends all at once and I do appreciate now why you made the original post. However, is a Bonnie Fecking Tyler song meant to cheer us all up????? I don’t think so!! How about that ‘I’m a Barbie Girl’ song or something similar – aren’t they from your neck of the woods?

Cometh the hour, Cometh the song:

ERNIE Benny Hill

You could hear the hoof beats pound
As they raced across the ground
And the clatter of the wheels
As they spun round and round
And he galloped into Market Street
His badge upon his chest
His name was Ernie
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west

Now Ernie loved a widow
A lady known as Sue
She lived all alone in Linley Lane
At number twenty two
They said she was too good for him
She was haughty, proud and chic
But Ernie got his cocoa there
Three times every week
They called him Ernie (Ernie)
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west

She said she’d like to bathe in milk
He said alright sweetheart
And when he finished work one night
He loaded up the cart
He said you wanted pasturised
Coz pasturised is best
She says Ernie I’ll be happy
If it comes up to me chest
And that tickled old Ernie (Ernie)
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west

Now Ernie had a rival
An evil looking man
Called Two Ton Ted from Teddington
And he drove the bakers van
He tempted her with his treacle tarts
And his tasty wholemeal bread
And when she saw the size
Of his hot meat pies
It very near turned her head
She nearly swooned at his macaroon
And he said now if you treat me right
You’ll have hot rolls evry morning
And crumpets every night
He knew once she’d sampled his layer cake
He’d have his wicked way
And all Ernie had to offer
Was a pint of milk a day
Poor Ernie (Ernie)
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west

One lunchtime Ted saw Ernie’s horse and cart outside her door
It drove him mad to find it was still there at half past four
And as he leaped down from of his van
Hot blood through his veins did course
And he went across to Ernie’s cart
And he didnarf kick his horse
Who’s name was Trigger (Trigger)
And he pulled the fastest milkcart in the west

Now Ernie rushed out into the street
His goldtop in his hand
He said if you want to marry susie
You’ll fight for her like a man
Oh why don’t we play cards for her
He sneeringly replied
And just to make it interesting
We’ll have a shilling on the side
Now Ernie dragged him from his van
And beneath the blazing sun
They stood there face to face
And Ted went for his bun
But Ernie was to quick
Things didn’t go the way ted planned
And a strawberry flavoured youghurt
Sent it spinning from his hand
Now Sue she ran between them
And tried to keep them apart
And Ernie pushed her aside
And a rock cake caught him underneath his heart
And he looked up in pained surprise
As the concrete hardened crust
Of a stale pork pie caught him in the eye
And Ernie bit the dust
Poor Ernie (Ernie)
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west

Ernie was only fifty-two, he didn’t want to die
Now he’s gone to make deliveries
In that milkround in the sky
Where the customers are angels
And ferocious dogs are banned
And a milkmans life is full of fun
In that fairy dairy land
But a woman’s needs are many fold
And Sue she married Ted
But strange things happened on their wedding night
As they lay in their bed
Was that the trees a rustling
Or the hinges of the gate
Or Ernies ghostly goldtop a rattling in their crate
They won’t forget Ernie (Ernie)
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west

Hope i hav’nt ruined this thread, just thought i would put a song that brings back memories of mum dear mum!!

If Tomorrow Never Comes……

Sometimes late at night
I lie awake and watch her sleeping
She’s lost in peaceful dreams
So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark
And the thought crosses my mind
If I never wake up in the morning
Would she ever doubt the way I feel
About her in my heart

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she’s my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

If tomorrow never comes
‘Cause I’ve lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much she means to me
And avoid that circumstance
Where there’s no second chance to tell her how I feel

So tell that someone that you love
Just what you’re thinking of
If tomorrow never comes

I can’t sing but I’ve had a Guinness or three so here goes…..

THROUGH MY SAILS

Wind blowing through my sails
It feels like I’m gone
Leaving with the wind blowing
Through my sails. :oops:

(Words by Neil Young from the album Zuma)
http://www.neilyoung.com