Asked to post this blog so I will !

A couple of days later the doc rang to say the biopsy was negative but he knew it was cancer and he could fit me in the next day for an X Ray directed biopsy.
I had to be clamped into the mammogram machine with an extra squeezy tool and he came at me with what can only be described as a staple gun apparently it would shoot a needle right into the tumour to get a more accurate result. Cachung, Cachung, Cachung! My knees went weak, I felt sick and faint!

I went back a week later for the definite results. A cancer nurse was with the surgeon and as soon as I saw her I knew what the news would be. After the consultation she took me to another room and explained all that would happen.

I still couldn’t tell a soul due to the forth coming party and when I have something serious to deal with I always go into myself and can’t talk about it to anyone. I used to wake up in the mornings feeling absolutely fine but then it was like a hammer had hit me in the chest once I’d remembered I shouldn’t feel fine because I had Cancer! The only person I could tell was my boss cause I thought she might wonder where I was nipping off to lol

Three weeks later as I was being prepared for the surgery a lovely young nurse took me to a ward and was telling me she was actually leaving that day due to the stress and long hours. She nipped off at one point and while she was gone I decided that I had to tell her a little secret I was keeping.

In a slightly whimpering voice I said “Can I tell you something”? “Of course you can” she replied.
“Well the thing is I’ve got a batholin cyst, I’ve had it for over a month and my GP gave me antibiotics hoping it would clear up but it’s agony when I walk and grown bigger and bigger and I wondered if the surgeon could whip it off whilst I’m under the anesthetic you know like two for the price of one”! I’d put it to the back of mind at the time as one lump was enough to deal with but realised at the last minute that it wasn’t going to go away and I’d have probably have to be put under again at another time.

She had a little giggle and said she would go and see what she could do. Within 10 minutes the Indian surgeon who was doing my op came bounding in saying “Oh my darling why didn’t you bloody tell us my bloody wife is a gynecologist and the bloody gynecology ward is the furthest department away from here”! God I felt such a bother but he was so funny and sent a couple of student doctors to prod my fanny and they said they would be able to remove the cyst at the same time and would I mind if they kept it for research. I didn’t want it back did I? so agreed.

They put the operation back an hour but that was ok as I was very grateful to be getting rid of both lumps.

The op went well I’d only got a small cut in my breast and this horrible drain thing dangling out of it with a bag attached to it to collect fluid. Had to walk around with that for a few days and hid the fluid bag in a Tammy Girl purple carrier bag someone had given me with some maltezers and a magazine in. There was little pain but as they had to cut through a nerve in my arm that was a bit stiff. They had packed my fanny with some kind of dressing which was a bit bulky but don’t think there were any stitches. I didn’t look so I’ve no idea and frankly I didn’t want to know.

After a few days a nurse came round with this ‘Special Kit’ saying oh that’s a treat for you later.
Confused I asked her what it was and she explained it was an MRSA testing kit which comprised of two or three huge long Qtips that had to be applied to different orifices. Flipping charming I thought!

Then it dawned on me that this old lady three beds away had contracted MRSA and had to be moved out of the ward to an isolation one. I was horrified because I was wondering if she had used the same bath that I’d sat in with my fanny wound! It had a bad effect on me and for two years after that I was OCD about my own bath constantly cleaning it even when it was spotless !

They said I could go home after a week as long there was someone there to look after me. I lied and said there was. All I wanted was my own bed and to be alone away from all that clinking and clanging and people shouting through the night.

The first morning home I felt so happy to be free and went out to the back garden and racked up all the fallen leaves of course I was sore and black and blue but I didn’t care. It was a beautiful autumn morning and I felt so grateful and lucky to have had such good care.

Unfortunately later it all kinda went tits up (pun intended).
To be continued ………

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kent f OBE, Ladyhm