apparently, these are real but I’m not so sure…….

Complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.

Note that “squawks” are problem listings that pilots leave for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight.

(Problem) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
(Solution) Almost replaced left inside main tire.

(P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
(S) Autoland not fitted to this aircraft.

(P) #2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
(S) #2 propeller seepage normal – #1, #3 and #4 propellers lack normal seepage.

(P) Something loose in cockpit.
(S) Something tightened in cockpit.

(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
(S) Evidence removed.

(P) DME volume unbelievably loud.
(S) Volume set to more believable level.

(P) Dead bugs on windshield.
(S) Live bugs on order.

(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.
(S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

(P) IFF inoperative.
(S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

(P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
(S) That’s what they are there for.

(P) Number three engine missing.
(S) Engine found on right wing after brief search.

(P) Aircraft handles FUNNY.
(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, “fly right” and be serious.

(P) Target radar hums.
(S) Reprogrammed Target radar with the words.