Anything for the Vicar

The local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation no one wants him to leave.

Mike Smith who owns several car dealerships in Southland and Otago stands up and proclaims: ‘If the Vicar stays I will provide him with a new Holden every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!’ The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.

Sam Brown a successful entrepreneur and publican stands and says, “If the Vicar will stay on here, I’ll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school education of his children!” More sighs and loud applause.

Agnes Jones aged 88 stands and announces with a smile, “If the Vicar stays I will give him sex.” There is total silence. The Preacher blushing asks her, “Mrs. Jones whatever possessed you to say that?” Agnes’s 90-year old husband Joe, is now trying to hide holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies:

“Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, “F*ck the Vicar”.