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Once upon a time there was a female brain cell that, by mistake, happened to end up in a man’s head.
She looked around nervously but it was empty and quiet.
“Hello?” she cried but no answer.
“Is there anyone here?” she cried a little louder but still no answer.
Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and again she yelled.
“HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE!!?”
Then she heard a voice from far, far away:
“Hello! We’re down here…”
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife;
“Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. Don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us. Be strong sweetness. I love you!”
To which his wife responds; “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he is gay, thinks you are cute and asked me if we have any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong sweetness. I love you too!!”
A bird was flying south for the winter but he had left it too late and was frozen solid in a storm. He dropped down into a pasture of cows. The biggest, fattest cow was doing a crap there and the bird landed in it.
At first he was disgusted, until he realised that his surroundings was thawing him out. He started crying out for joy as the ice melted. A cat that was nearby heard the cries, walked over, found the bird and ate it
There are three morals to this story:
1. Not everyone who gets you into sh!t is your enemy.
2. Not everyone who gets you out of sh!t is your friend.
3. If you are in sh!t, keep your mouth shut.
Adult Scrabble…
Rearrange the letters to spell out an important part of the human body which is even more useful when erect.
P N E S I
People who wrote SPINE became doctors…
The rest are all my e-mail friends
love it =D>
@irish_lucy wrote:
Adult Scrabble…
Rearrange the letters to spell out an important part of the human body which is even more useful when erect.
P N E S I
People who wrote SPINE became doctors…
The rest are all my e-mail friends
Epic win :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
…
@delilah wrote:
Once upon a time there was a female brain cell that, by mistake, happened to end up in a man’s head.
She looked around nervously but it was empty and quiet.
“Hello?” she cried but no answer.
“Is there anyone here?” she cried a little louder but still no answer.
Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and again she yelled.
“HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE!!?”
Then she heard a voice from far, far away:
“Hello! We’re down here…”
I take great offence to that :wink:
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