A thread to discuss poetry

[a certain sadness]

I wish i could see like that.

I think i have a low tolerance rating at the moment as i don’t wait around to find the good or bad.

All i know is that if i get bored with something i walk away.

I know it shouldn’t be that way.

[a certain sadness]

@rogue trader wrote:

ok well I will put them in here then
heres one I wrote about my ex

its not a flag you can just unfurl
so start giving your mind,and not your body girl
I know this is the permissive age
and havibg sex with strangers is all the rage
but don’t you think you’ve carried it on a bit too far
and now you find yourself floating at the bottom of a jar

ok you turned around and told me straight
I wasn’t the best lad you’ve been with out of the 168
well that’s not bad going for a woman whos 33
now that weve finished,i wonder who next it will be
maybe a policeman or a Vietnamese refugee
I really don’t care who it is
as long as it isn’t me
can I just give you a piece of advice
stop being nasty,and start being nice
say no for once,and stop giving yourself
or else you fill find you will be permanently on the shelf!!!

Good to see you putting your poems up cosy.

[sceptical guy]

Well done, Cosy, a lovely poem.

But I’m going to stick my neck out and criticise a poem.

I refer to the untitled work issued by a certain sadness on the other thread (the one what is meant to be for poems), based on Cage’s 4’33, on p.11.

I felt that while the brilliance of this poem is generally brilliant, I was disturbed by the slight shift in tone halfway through. I felt that this was off key. I’m not sure how this can be rectified, and I do hope you don’t take this personally – it’s not meant to be critical overall, cert, I feel the excellence of this work is truly excellent, but..there is that slight uncertain sadness in the middle (mind you, the same uncertainty is there halfway through Cage’s work).

[a certain sadness]

Lol mr scep

I love uncertain sadness..

The poem was depicting a mans struggle with his own conscience set against the backdrop of the Russian revolution..with the loss of scriabin just two years earlier i felt the need to switch to e flat minor lyrics half way through..hence the darkened tones.

[sceptical guy]

cert, I stand corrected….

I led Hollywood producers to your door only yesterday, but we were told that you had been taken to a dungeon.

I thought that the police may have arrested you for the poem, but was assured that you had gone willingly, even skipping for joy.

I’m glad you’re out now.

[a certain sadness]

Haha

I was led to the dungeon by a dominant lady from forum 3…

And yes i did smile when i heard the clattering of chains.

Ive been asked to write the screenplay for the next Bollywood blockbuster…”from Delhi to Derby”

Await your complimentary tickets.

[sceptical guy]

In Praise of Folly

I was sitting on a bench the other day
looking at all the women as they went out for porridge and play
phwoar they were good
all shapes and sizes and all for me and me alone, bud

and then cor blimey, a big bird came
my eyes popped out of my head
she eyed me up and said you on the game?
You bet your life, I said.

We went to my place
when I say that, you know what I mean
and then when we got out of bed and packed her case
she just left me. just like that, no money seen

ah woe to me for trusting women
they don’t see the disgrace that I’m in
Go on your way do I effing care?
Some people just have no sense of the worth of inner relationships, fair

[rogue trader]

I heard a lovely poem the other day
I hope these words bring you as much comfort as they brought me

WINTER
fckn hell its cold innit la

Emily rooney age 6,liverpool.

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