A REALLY GOOD IDEA

Wouldn’t it be easier to get around if all the roads were coloured the same in real life as they are on the maps? Instead of all those ghastly grey roads, we could have Blue Motorways, Green Primary roads, Red erm A roads and Yellow erm B roads. I see no reason why this can’t be done. If we can invent mobile phones that are small enough to fit up a footballer’s bottom, I am sure we can manage to make paint stick to cement. People would be able to get on the right road all the time instead of having to keep coming off at the next junction and shouting at the woman with the map. They wouldn’t be late for important meetings and funerals and things and people would have much more leisure time to spend dogging and badger hunting. I reckon it could improve Britain’s miserable divorce rate.

I suppose some people would want to take this one stage further and only allow blue cars on blue roads, red cars on red roads etc but I reckon that would be going too far. I would imagine all the people from Barebottom Mountain would want to have pink roads to drive their little pink cars around on and that wouldn’t do at all. Imagine the awful clash of colours on the map if you ever had to drive past Brighton or somewhere. It would be a terrible sight seeing a barebottom cowboy driving his little pink mini on a B road, wouldn’t it?

I think it would make a gay splash seeing all those colours criss-crossing the countryside tho’. They could bring in Rolf Harris to design the road network. I suppose they would have to leave the signs up for those who are colour blind. I wonder if people who are colour blind would know if their car clashed with the road or would they rely on people telling them?