A Matelots mind and how true

1. You insist on dancing like a complete dick whilst your civvy mates insist on trying to dance properly.
2. You use target indications of ‘Port’ or ‘Starboard’ degrees to point out hot chicks.
3. You use the terms “me pash” when talking about your wife/girlfriend.
4. You can’t help saying “Roger that”, “Say again” and other snappy bits of Radio Voice Procedure.
5. You cringe and mutter under your breath ‘haircut’ when you see men with long hair.
6. You refer to personal organisation as “admin.”
7. You point using your whole hand in a karate chop motion to give a bearing when you see something interesting.
8. You always use the 24 hour clock.
9. You can’t watch naval war movies without giving a running commentary on type of ship, weapons, radar, rig or anything else Hollywood messes up.
10. Whenever you spell something out, you use the phonetic alphabet.
11. You don’t trust your mum/wife/girlfriend/any woman to iron your kit because deep down you think that your ironing is better (and you always wash your own nicks and socks when having a dhoby).
12. You find that the conversation somehow always comes back round to you because you’re more interesting than most topics of conversation.
13. You think not shaving is a treat….because you want to grow a full set.
14. You get really irritated when people you don’t know call you ‘mate.’
15. Your blood boils when you see civvies wearing naval kit as a fashion accessory.
16. You come out in a cold sweat if you find yourself still working after lunch on a Friday.
17. You have The Cruel Sea and Under Siege in your DVD collection.
18. The sight of a rolling sea makes you scan for possible surface targets or when an aircraft flies overhead, you shout “Target, bearing ….”
19. You think that eating every meal for a week with the same spoon that you licked clean and kept in the pocket of the same shirt or in your locker is perfectly normal.
20. When leaving your phone number on a voice message, you can’t just give it once. It has to be repeated.
21. When meeting mates in a pub, you always turn up 5 minutes early and are pissed off that nobody else has.
22. You subconsciously red-pen everything you read.