I REALLY met Badder on PlentyofFish.Com.

We arranged to meet after speaking on the phone and exchanging pictures. I caught the train up to Wigan via the London Underground and while I was stoned (which was a really freaky experience).

I arrived at Badders house around 5 ish (winter) just as it was getting dark and her house and her estate looked like something that had been dropped from 10,000 feet. Dog shit everywhere, rubbish everywhere and smelly overflowing bins and that was just Badders front garden.

Anyway, I knocked on the front door rather nervously, my BPM now at 400 beats a minute, mainly because it had two punch holes in it and mainly because of the scene of utter devastation around me, it was just like a scene from a film zombies shuffling everywhere but with Wigan Accents.

A petite woman in a white stained ‘coat’ answered the door and smiled at me and she had no teeth at all (that I could see) and she looked nothing like Badder and I said gulping “hi is Maureen there?” (which is Badders real name) the woman answered (really loudly because all they do is shout in Wigan) “EEEEEeee ECK YOU MUST BE ‘GERRY’ YOU DAFT DUCK I AM MAUREEN COME IN COME IN”.

So I followed her in and walked nervously into this grubby hallway that had a bare bulb in the cobweb covered ceiling and a tatty old stained carpet. We entered a ‘living room’ that looked like something from Dante’s Inferno. Scrubby old sofa that looked like a pack of wild dogs had been gnawing on it for months and a saggy old chair that had a HUGE middle aged man sitting in it doing nothing but gazing at me intently, when I say huge I mean obese btw, at least 500 lbs.

Badder shouted “SIT DOWN CHUCK SIT DOWN” which I was reluctant to do for fear of contamination but anyway I sort of pretended to perch on the arm of the dog gnawed sofa but didn’t let my bottom actually touch it. Badder SHOUTED to this lump on the chair “SAY HI TO GERRY SON” and to my complete amazement the lump on the chair turned to me and shouted “HI GERRY”.

I didn’t even get round to the second part of the sorry saga. The very short version is Badder then SHOUTED 2 inches from my face “DO YOU WANT SOMETHING TO EAT CHUCK?” because she had some frozen “MINCE” and “DID I LIKE SPAG BOL?” as I looked around desperately for an escape exit. I sort of nodded as she disappeared into this dingy kitchenette thing. As I sprinted out the patio doors all I could hear in the background was Badder shouting “THAW YOU BASTARD THAW” and loud thuds as she banged an unidentified object on the counter.

Geraldine are you still doing what you accuse poor mr q of

Yes harassing and stalking,  and abusing women

Now you either shut your cake hole, or I will shut it for you

The term expert in this context is ridiculous

as no country has ever left the eu

how can they be experts 😊