Boards Index › General discussion › Off topic chat › Have you ever walked through a graveyard and . . . . . . . .
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13 April, 2008 at 8:01 am #9894
. . . . . . . wondered what all the dead people looked like in their caskets ?
Well I haven’t but got asked this one yesterday by someone who said ” like I was standing over a grave then like suddenly realised omg ! there’s a dead person below me !! “
I replied that was the reason I’ll be buried in a glass box above ground just so that people wouldn’t have to wonder,and threw in the fact that the best Hendrix song was ‘All Along the Watchtower’………just for effect. (I do fings like that). Maybe I shouldn’t put all my eggs into one basket, and then not put all my baskets into one casket.
One fine summers day I was strolling through a cemetery in Vienna with some Austrian friends and we heard this weird music. Searching around we finally discovered it coming from the grave of Beethoven and after a while, one of the others recognised it as his Fifth Symphony – being played BACKWARDS. All very very spooky. So we then went and found the curator and asked him all about it.
He said that Beethoven was probably decomposing.
13 April, 2008 at 8:48 am #325477Many a time i sit in the grave yard and think …………Its the most peaceful place i no every Sunday im there
Never look down and think omg their is dead people Just think i wonder what they did while alive ,,,Is their lives any better on tuther side
And say to me mom what ya go and f00king leave me for so young ya c00nt
Yu get to meet some strange and wonderful people in a grave yard /cemetery All there for the same reason you are
Toy please i beg ya not a glass coffin son f00k me ya scarey enough in the flesh with out looking at ya when ya dead :wink:
13 April, 2008 at 10:21 am #325478There’s a graveyard in Chiswick, west London adjoining the old parish church. It is right alongside the river Thames and has a narrow public footpath, with old fashioned black railings either side, and which goes right across the middle of this graveyard.
In the winter, late at night, the ground mist comes rolling in from the river and covers the graveyard so that all you can see is the top of the gravestones sticking up above this fog.
It is absolutely silent and extremely spooky…… none of the locals walk across the graveyard at night – and who can blame them.
An initiation rite that we used to put young probationer Police officers through was to send them out on a foot patrol late at night in the area so that they had to walk along this 100 yard footpath, through the fog covered graveyard. A call would then be sent to them on the radio telling them that there was some suspicious activity in the area of the footpath and would they investigate and report back.
Meanwhile, other Policemen would lay in wait in the graveyard with white sheets on and as the probationer ( typically in their late teens or very early 20’s) arrived …. they would rise up out of the fog and make loud moaning noises.
I have never heard of a probationer stopping to investigate … they just ran for it.
The best bit was when they were asked later on if they saw anything suspicious and they denied seeing a thing!!
13 April, 2008 at 10:38 am #325479Classic! :lol:
13 April, 2008 at 10:41 am #325480Who says the police don’t have a sense of humour?
Meanwhile there was probably some old lady being mugged somewhere…“Sorry darling we don’t have any officers free at the moment…they are all busy right now. “
“Okay…can you send someone later then?”
“Hmm (feeling sorry for old lady) are you an asian love, or maybe an East European immigrant being taunted?”
“Would it help if I was?”
silence…
“I’m half Polish and half asian and have just been mugged!!”
“we’ll send someone straight away luv!”
All of a sudden the graveyard cops are alerted and ten police cars with flashing blue lights make their way at breakneck speed through busy London streets to assist.Have I gone off-topic?? sorry…..I’ve been reading that Richard Littlejohn book :roll:
13 April, 2008 at 11:44 am #325481Well I guess … looking back on it … it was a bit of an inappropriate use of resources – but things were far more relaxed and less “PC” then and the scope for practical jokes was enormous.
My own initiation was the ‘body in the bin’ scam. A tailor’s dummy was put into a skip which was in a dark spooky alleyway in the back streets of Chiswick. I was sent on patrol and directed by radio to the alleyway to investigate the presence of a ‘body’ that was reported to be there.
I went to the alleyway, somewhat apprehensively, and searched around with my torch – I looked inside the skip (as you do), realised it was a tailor’s dummy, and thought no more about it. No body … no ‘murder’ ….clearly a mistaken report from a member of the public.
When I got back to the nick, I reported that nothing was amiss and all was quiet. No murders … no bodies in the streets – only a dummy in a skip…. no call for Police action.
Moments later one of the CID officers came rushing into the nick with this enormous great ‘bloodstained’ butcher’s knife in his hand and demanded to know which idiot Officer had patrolled past a body in a skip that had been murdered and dumped there and failed to report it. Instructed that the entire night duty Divisional CID team was called out to start a major murder enquiry….. area to be cordoned off and so on.
I went into a major panic and thought OMG – now I’m in for it, …. couldn’t tell a murder scene from a dumped tailor’s dummy – major disciplinary enquiry with me on the sharp end of it etc etc.
The bastards let me panic for over an hour before they let me off the hook, to great amusement all round
13 April, 2008 at 11:52 am #325482@forumhostpb wrote:
Well I guess … looking back on it … it was a bit of an inappropriate use of resources – but things were far more relaxed and less “PC” then and the scope for practical jokes was enormous.
My own initiation was the ‘body in the bin’ scam. A tailor’s dummy was put into a skip which was in a dark spooky alleyway in the back streets of Chiswick. I was sent on patrol and directed by radio to the alleyway to investigate the presence of a ‘body’ that was reported to be there.
I went to the alleyway, somewhat apprehensively, and searched around with my torch – I looked inside the skip (as you do), realised it was a tailor’s dummy, and thought no more about it. No body … no ‘murder’ ….clearly a mistaken report from a member of the public.
When I got back to the nick, I reported that nothing was amiss and all was quiet. No murders … no bodies in the streets – only a dummy in a skip…. no call for Police action.
Moments later one of the CID officers came rushing into the nick with this enormous great ‘bloodstained’ butcher’s knife in his hand and demanded to know which idiot Officer had patrolled past a body in a skip that had been murdered and dumped there and failed to report it. Instructed that the entire night duty Divisional CID team was called out to start a major murder enquiry….. area to be cordoned off and so on.
I went into a major panic and thought OMG – now I’m in for it, …. couldn’t tell a murder scene from a dumped tailor’s dummy – major disciplinary enquiry with me on the sharp end of it etc etc.
The bastards let me panic for over an hour before they let me off the hook, to great amusement all round
now we know where you got your wierd sense of humour from ay lol :wink:
13 April, 2008 at 11:52 am #325483LOL PB!! :lol:
The good old days before League Tables were introduced. eh?
13 April, 2008 at 12:01 pm #325484lol@PB’s initiation
13 April, 2008 at 1:40 pm #325485@sir Actor wrote:
LOL PB!! :lol:
The good old days before League Tables were introduced. eh?
Yes … and before the Police & Criminal Evidence Act (PACE) was brought in as well. Ahhhh those were the days …. yobs were scared of Police then – not the other way round.
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