a lesson in anatomy

One day at the dinner table, a son asks his father, ‘Dad how many types of breasts are there?’

The father says, ‘Son there are three types’.

‘In her twenties, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm; in her thirties and forties, they are like pears, still nice but drooping a bit. After fifty they are like onions’

‘Onions?’ says the son.

‘Yes. You see them and they make you cry’.

This infuriates his wife and daughter, so the daughter says,

‘Mum, how many types of penises are there?’

The mother looks at her husband and says,

‘Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties, his penis is like an oak, mighty and hard; in his thirties to forties, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it’s like a Christmas tree’.

‘A Christmas tree?’ asks the daughter.

‘Yes. Dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only’.