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Posts
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WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?”
“Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.”W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day…
30,000 to a man’s 15,000.
The wife replied, “The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men…
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, “What?”CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, “I don’t know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
” The wife responded, “Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, “You should do it, because you get up first,
and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.”
The husband said, ” You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.”
Wife replies, “No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible
that the man should do the coffee.”
Husband replies, “I can’t believe that, show me.”
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament
and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says……….”HEBREWS”The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
“Please wake me at 5:00 AM.” He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by
the bed. The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.”
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.God may have created man before woman,
but there is always a rough draft before the MASTERPIECE.
God may have created man before woman,
but there is always a rough draft before the MASTERPIECE.
:lol: :lol: :lol: What a great statement :!: :!:
=D> =D> =D> :D :D
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?”
“Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.”:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Thats classic Mary
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
“Please wake me at 5:00 AM.” He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by
the bed. The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.”
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
love it. :lol:they made me laugh so much Mary and all true of course. xx :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
things women say and their meanings
1.) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are
right and you need to shut up.2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more
minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.3.) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something,
and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing
usually end in fine.4.) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!
5.) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an
idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing
with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)6.) That’s Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman
can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard
before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.7.) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say
you’re welcome.8.) Whatever : Is a women’s way of saying **** YOU!
9.) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning
this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but
is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s
wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3.
8) 8) 8) 8):lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Glad I tickled ya pink with this ladies…
PATS…. the 5 mins…. when we went campin there me and the kids and my pal and her man, we were sitting around the camp fire and my lass asked me to do something I said’ yeah in a minute’ after a long time she came back and said ‘ MUMMY is it nearly time as a minute has well pasted’ my pals man said’ don’t you know what a Mummys minute means ‘ she replied ‘NO’ he said well it can be from 1 min to up to a week’
lol i had to laff as im always sayin yeah in a minute then when i get round to it nearly an hr or so has went passed lol
must be a woman thing I do that all the time :oops: :wink:
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