Letter to the Editor

Recently, large demonstrations have taken place across the country protesting the fact that Parliament is finally addressing the issue of illegal immigration.

Certain people are angry that the UK might actually want to protect its own borders, might make it harder to sneak into this country and, once here, make it harder (as an illegal immigrant) to stay indefinitely.

Let me see if I correctly understand the thinking behind these protests.

Let’s say I break into your house. Then, when you discover me in your house, you insist that I leave. But I say, “I’ve made all the beds and washed the dishes and done the laundry and swept the floors; I’ve done all the things you don’t like to do.

Not only must you let me stay, you must add me to your family’s insurance plan, educate my kids, and provide other benefits to me and to my family. My husband will do your yard work because he too is hard-working and honest, except for that breaking-in part.

If you try to call the police or force me out, I will call my friends who will picket your house carrying signs that proclaim my right to be there. It’s only fair, after all, because you have a nicer house than I do, and I’m just trying to better myself.

I’m hard-working and honest, um, except for well, you know. and what a deal it is for me!! I live in your house, contributing only a fraction of the cost of my keep, and there is nothing you can do about it without being accused of selfishness, prejudice and being an anti-housebreaker and a racist.

Oh yeah, and I want you to learn my language so you can communicate with me! English is too hard for me to learn. You should also allow me to vote – in my own language, since I live in your house!”