Boards Index › Fun and humour › Jokes and humourous links › The worlds worst cyber sex
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18 May, 2007 at 12:13 am #7054
Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing an expensive red silk blouse, a black leather mini
skirt and high heeled boots. I am tan and very buffed. I work out everyday.
My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?Wellhung: I’m 6’3″ and about 125 kilos. I wear glasses and have on a pair of
blue sweatpants I just bought at Walmart. I’m also wearing an old T-shirt,
it’s got some barbeque sauce stains on it and it smells kind of funny.Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?
Wellhung: OK
Sweetheart: We’re in my bedroom. There’s soft music playing on the stereo
and candles on my nightstand. I look up into your eyes and I’m smiling. My
hand works its way down to your crotch and I begin to feel your huge
swelling bulge.Wellhung: I’m gulping. I’m beginning to sweat.
Sweetheart: I’m pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
Wellhung: Now, I’m unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.
Sweetheart: I’m moaning softly.
Wellhung: I’m taking hold of your blouse and I’m sliding it softly off.
Sweetheart: I’m throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides off
of my warm body. I’m rubbing your bulge faster now, rubbing and pulling.Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and tears a hole in your
blouse. I’m sorry.Sweetheart: That’s OK. It wasn’t really too expensive.
Wellhung: I’ll pay for it.
Sweetheart: Don’t worry about it! I’m wearing a lacy black bra, my soft
breasts are rising and falling as I breathe harder and harder.Wellhung: I’m fumbling with the clasp of your bra, I think it’s stuck. Do
you have scissors?Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly. I reach behind my back and
undo the clasp. My bra slides off. The cool air caresses my breasts, my
nipples are erect for you.Wellhung: How did you do that? I’m picking up the bra and inspecting the
clasp.Sweetheart: I’m arching my back. Oh baby I just want to feel your tongue all
over me.Wellhung: I’m dropping the bra. Now I’m licking your, you know, breasts.
They’re neat!Sweetheart: I’m running my fingers through your hair. Now I’m nibbling your
ear.Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.
Sweetheart: WHAT?
Wellhung: I’m so sorry. Really.
Sweetheart: I’m wiping your phlegm off of my breasts with the remains of my
blouse.Wellhung: I’m taking your sopping wet blouse from you and throwing it in the
corner of the room.Sweetheart: OK. I’m pulling your sweatpants down and rubbing your hard tool.
Wellhung: I’m screaming like a woman! Your hands are cold! Yeee!
Sweetheart: I’m pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
Wellhung: I’m pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and
out and nibbling on you..ummm, wait a second.Sweetheart: What’s the matter?
Wellhung: I’ve got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I’m choking.
Sweetheart: Are you OK?
Wellhung: I’m having a coughing fit. I’m turning all red.
Sweetheart: Is there anything I can do to help?
Wellhung: I’m running to the kitchen. Choking wildly. Looking for a cup.
Where do you keep your cups?Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink!
Wellhung: I’m drinking a cup of water. There, that’s better.
Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.
Wellhung: I’m washing the cup now.
Sweetheart: I’m aching for you lover.
Wellhung: Now I’m drying the cup. I’m putting it back in the cabinet. And
now I’m walking back to the bedroom. Wait it’s dark, I’m lost. Where is the
bedroom?Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
Wellhung: I found it.
Sweetheart: I’m tugging off your pants. I want you so badly.
Wellhung: Me too.
Sweetheart: I kiss you passionately. Our naked bodies pressed against each
other.Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.
Sweetheart: Why don’t you take your glasses off?
Wellhung: OK. But I can’t see very well. I’m placing my glasses on the
nightstand.Sweetheart: I’m bending over the bed. Give it to me baby!
Wellhung: I have to pee. I’m fumbling my way blindly to the bathroom.
Sweetheart: Hurry back lover.
Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it’s dark. I’m feeling around for the
toilet and lift the lid.Sweetheart: I’m waiting eagerly for your return.
Wellhung: I’m done going. I’m feeling around for the flush handle. Uh-oh!
Sweetheart: What’s the matter now?
Wellhung: I just realised I peed in your hamper. Sorry again. I’m walking
back to the bed now. Blindly feeling my way.Sweetheart: Mmmm, yes. Come on.
Wellhung: Now I’m going to put my, you know…thing in your, um, woman’s
thing.Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, Baby! Do it!
Wellhung: I’m touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. Ma’am, I’m having
a little problem here.Sweetheart: I’m moving my ass back and forth. I can’t wait another second.
Slide it in! Screw me!Wellhung: I’m flaccid.
Sweetheart: WHAT?
Wellhung: I’m limp…I can’t sustain an erection.
Sweetheart: I’m standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my
face.Wellhung: I’m shrugging with a sad look on my face, my wiener all floppy.
I’m looking for my glasses to see what the problem is.Sweetheart: NO! Never mind. I’m getting dressed, I’m putting on my underwear
and my wet nasty blouse.Wellhung: No wait. I can’t find the night table. I’m reaching across the
dresser, knocking off cans of hairspray, your picture frames and your
candles.Sweetheart: I’m buttoning my blouse. I’m putting on my shoes.
Wellhung: Now I’ve found my glasses. My God! One of your candles fell on the
curtain! The curtain is on fire. I’m pointing at it with a shocked look on
my face.Sweetheart: Go to hell! I’m logging off, LOSER!
Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Nooooooo!
18 May, 2007 at 11:06 am #270927That made me laff :lol:
18 May, 2007 at 12:39 pm #270928I did better on my second attempt tho :lol: :lol:
18 May, 2007 at 5:36 pm #270929Nope, you seem to have quoted every last word of it without “missing” any of them
I am however missing why you would do that when the original is only a couple of posts up the page tho :shock:
18 May, 2007 at 7:14 pm #270930And I see no point looking on the Jokes and humourous board when you dont seem to appear to have a sense of humour of any description, but we cant all expect to understand everything I guess :lol:
22 May, 2007 at 12:11 pm #270931There are more of this kind of thing here: http://www.duke.edu/~dms6/jdogg.htm
22 May, 2007 at 3:06 pm #270932LOL. pure class
Cheers for that
:)
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