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  • #7054

    Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

    Sweetheart: I am wearing an expensive red silk blouse, a black leather mini
    skirt and high heeled boots. I am tan and very buffed. I work out everyday.
    My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

    Wellhung: I’m 6’3″ and about 125 kilos. I wear glasses and have on a pair of
    blue sweatpants I just bought at Walmart. I’m also wearing an old T-shirt,
    it’s got some barbeque sauce stains on it and it smells kind of funny.

    Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?

    Wellhung: OK

    Sweetheart: We’re in my bedroom. There’s soft music playing on the stereo
    and candles on my nightstand. I look up into your eyes and I’m smiling. My
    hand works its way down to your crotch and I begin to feel your huge
    swelling bulge.

    Wellhung: I’m gulping. I’m beginning to sweat.

    Sweetheart: I’m pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

    Wellhung: Now, I’m unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.

    Sweetheart: I’m moaning softly.

    Wellhung: I’m taking hold of your blouse and I’m sliding it softly off.

    Sweetheart: I’m throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides off
    of my warm body. I’m rubbing your bulge faster now, rubbing and pulling.

    Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and tears a hole in your
    blouse. I’m sorry.

    Sweetheart: That’s OK. It wasn’t really too expensive.

    Wellhung: I’ll pay for it.

    Sweetheart: Don’t worry about it! I’m wearing a lacy black bra, my soft
    breasts are rising and falling as I breathe harder and harder.

    Wellhung: I’m fumbling with the clasp of your bra, I think it’s stuck. Do
    you have scissors?

    Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly. I reach behind my back and
    undo the clasp. My bra slides off. The cool air caresses my breasts, my
    nipples are erect for you.

    Wellhung: How did you do that? I’m picking up the bra and inspecting the
    clasp.

    Sweetheart: I’m arching my back. Oh baby I just want to feel your tongue all
    over me.

    Wellhung: I’m dropping the bra. Now I’m licking your, you know, breasts.
    They’re neat!

    Sweetheart: I’m running my fingers through your hair. Now I’m nibbling your
    ear.

    Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.

    Sweetheart: WHAT?

    Wellhung: I’m so sorry. Really.

    Sweetheart: I’m wiping your phlegm off of my breasts with the remains of my
    blouse.

    Wellhung: I’m taking your sopping wet blouse from you and throwing it in the
    corner of the room.

    Sweetheart: OK. I’m pulling your sweatpants down and rubbing your hard tool.

    Wellhung: I’m screaming like a woman! Your hands are cold! Yeee!

    Sweetheart: I’m pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.

    Wellhung: I’m pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and
    out and nibbling on you..ummm, wait a second.

    Sweetheart: What’s the matter?

    Wellhung: I’ve got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I’m choking.

    Sweetheart: Are you OK?

    Wellhung: I’m having a coughing fit. I’m turning all red.

    Sweetheart: Is there anything I can do to help?

    Wellhung: I’m running to the kitchen. Choking wildly. Looking for a cup.
    Where do you keep your cups?

    Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink!

    Wellhung: I’m drinking a cup of water. There, that’s better.

    Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

    Wellhung: I’m washing the cup now.

    Sweetheart: I’m aching for you lover.

    Wellhung: Now I’m drying the cup. I’m putting it back in the cabinet. And
    now I’m walking back to the bedroom. Wait it’s dark, I’m lost. Where is the
    bedroom?

    Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

    Wellhung: I found it.

    Sweetheart: I’m tugging off your pants. I want you so badly.

    Wellhung: Me too.

    Sweetheart: I kiss you passionately. Our naked bodies pressed against each
    other.

    Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

    Sweetheart: Why don’t you take your glasses off?

    Wellhung: OK. But I can’t see very well. I’m placing my glasses on the
    nightstand.

    Sweetheart: I’m bending over the bed. Give it to me baby!

    Wellhung: I have to pee. I’m fumbling my way blindly to the bathroom.

    Sweetheart: Hurry back lover.

    Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it’s dark. I’m feeling around for the
    toilet and lift the lid.

    Sweetheart: I’m waiting eagerly for your return.

    Wellhung: I’m done going. I’m feeling around for the flush handle. Uh-oh!

    Sweetheart: What’s the matter now?

    Wellhung: I just realised I peed in your hamper. Sorry again. I’m walking
    back to the bed now. Blindly feeling my way.

    Sweetheart: Mmmm, yes. Come on.

    Wellhung: Now I’m going to put my, you know…thing in your, um, woman’s
    thing.

    Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, Baby! Do it!

    Wellhung: I’m touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. Ma’am, I’m having
    a little problem here.

    Sweetheart: I’m moving my ass back and forth. I can’t wait another second.
    Slide it in! Screw me!

    Wellhung: I’m flaccid.

    Sweetheart: WHAT?

    Wellhung: I’m limp…I can’t sustain an erection.

    Sweetheart: I’m standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my
    face.

    Wellhung: I’m shrugging with a sad look on my face, my wiener all floppy.
    I’m looking for my glasses to see what the problem is.

    Sweetheart: NO! Never mind. I’m getting dressed, I’m putting on my underwear
    and my wet nasty blouse.

    Wellhung: No wait. I can’t find the night table. I’m reaching across the
    dresser, knocking off cans of hairspray, your picture frames and your
    candles.

    Sweetheart: I’m buttoning my blouse. I’m putting on my shoes.

    Wellhung: Now I’ve found my glasses. My God! One of your candles fell on the
    curtain! The curtain is on fire. I’m pointing at it with a shocked look on
    my face.

    Sweetheart: Go to hell! I’m logging off, LOSER!

    Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Nooooooo!

    #270927

    Oss

    That made me laff :lol:

    #270928

    I did better on my second attempt tho :lol: :lol:

    #270929

    Nope, you seem to have quoted every last word of it without “missing” any of them

    I am however missing why you would do that when the original is only a couple of posts up the page tho :shock:

    #270930

    And I see no point looking on the Jokes and humourous board when you dont seem to appear to have a sense of humour of any description, but we cant all expect to understand everything I guess :lol:

    #270931

    There are more of this kind of thing here: http://www.duke.edu/~dms6/jdogg.htm

    #270932

    LOL. pure class

    Cheers for that

    :)

Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)

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