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Most of you have probably heard the story of Ashley the nine year old born with a severe developmental disability. Three years ago she had what is now called the “Ashley Treatment”. It involved hormone treatments to fuse the growth plates of her bones..different surgeries i.e hysterectomy, appendectomy also removal of her breast buds, so that she would remain the same weight and height.
Most people I have spoken to on the subject are outraged. However, I don’t know if it is right or wrong..although, initially I was shocked I’m sure the decision was made with love to give Ashley a more comfortable life at home.
What it has got me thinking about is when practicality overides everything else… what will it be like in the future?
I personally think its wrong to do it but i dont critisize people for doing what they think is right or wrong i only have my opinion. Some things i see and think who made you god to choose that? Then other times i think playing god is right. Cases as in assisted suicide in terminal cases i think are a very very good idea but things like messing with nature to stop a girl from maturing to suit her care and ease for her carers i think is wrong BUT i dont know the full story I dont have to care for her so i will never know the facts and i try to stay open minded. But to stop her being anything other than a “baby” is wrong. The didnt take out these things because she was in pain or needed it, it was all for others benefit.
This is an interesting case and yes I read about it last week as well. I must confess that I was pretty uneasy with the typical tabloid journalistic approach – the ”pillow angel” stuff – and it left me wondering whether the mother was doing this for her child or for herself. This certainly came across to me that way in the media coverage.
Apparently in the UK there is a little girl of similar age and in a similar condition and her mother was interviewed on Radio 4’s Today programme on Friday. It was absolutely rivetting. The mother was calm and collected throughout and explained in great detail why she supported this same treatment for her daughter.
She was calm and rational and explained her position with incredible clarity – for a parent who has to live with this stuff 24/7 I thought that she was immensly brave and in the few minutes she was speaking she earned my respect. I can tell you I will yield to no-one in my admiration for her courage and sheer human decency.
Her main point was that her daughter was double incontinent and was paralysed such that she was totally unable to do anything at all for herself and had to be looked after literally 24 hours a day. Under these circumstances her mother felt that allowing her to achieve puberty with all the additional problems that this entails – menstruation, physical body changes, hormonal issues etc etc – it was just too much for her child to additionally cope with.
It was an utterly compelling interview. Everything was about her child and nothing about herself and the tremendous strain that she must have had to suffer every day. What an incredibly brave and remarkable woman she was. No histrionics, no tugging of emotional heartstrings. Just pure mother’s utterly unselfish love for her terribly damaged child and wanting to do absolutely everything in her power to make her poor child’s life just that little bit easier.
I thank God every day that my little girl is fit and healthy and that I don’t have to even contemplate how awful it must be to have to make these sorts of choice for your child. But I’ll tell you this, having listened to this mother and heard what she said I wholeheartedly support her choice and if I ever had to go down that route myself, I would make that same choice.
Yes it’s easy for the pro this and anti that lobbyists to take their respective views and try to persuade the rest of us that they are right and they know what’s best and so on. Sure they can howl their protests and scream in outraged indignation …. but I say to all of them, listen to that mother who REALLY cares about her child… and be humbled.
Most mothers REALLY care for their children I DO i would die for mine without even thinking about it i would do anything. Caring for a child ANY child is 24/7 and tiring but yes it takes a hell of a lot more to look after a child with special needs. I do see how it makes it easier to do this but cant help but think its worng at the same time.
@becky wrote:
Most mothers REALLY care for their children I DO i would die for mine without even thinking about it i would do anything. Caring for a child ANY child is 24/7 and tiring but yes it takes a hell of a lot more to look after a child with special needs. I do see how it makes it easier to do this but cant help but think its worng at the same time.
The whole point of this mother’s actions (which I suspect you might have missed) was that is was nothing to do with HER and making it somehow ”easier” for her to care for her terribly disabled child. It was entirely to do with trying to somehow make the quality of life a bit better for the child.
The mother’s purpose in proposing the course of treatment for the daughter, as she explained most eloquently, was to prevent her daughter entering puberty. She felt that (as I have said above) all the additional burdens that puberty brings for a so-called ‘normal’ child would be many times more difficult for this disabled child to go through.
I really cannot see how this is somehow morally ”wrong” as some ethical critics have said. This poor child has apparently little if any concept of what she is going through right now due to her almost total disablement. Allowing her to go through puberty on top of all that seems to me to be grossly cruel and has little to do with genuinely caring for the child and perhaps more to do with imposing a set of beliefs on the parent.
So many people suffer for those who parade the vanity of their high minded ethics / morals and seek to impose their beliefs on the individual from a distance.
I have seen no link to this and i dont know ALL ins and outs. Is the child mentall disabled or just a physical thing? Is there a link please?
I hadnt heard about this story atall. Like PB, I totally support the mother for the choice she made for her daughter.She obviously did it out of nothing more than love for her. What an incredibly brave woman she sounds. I know someone who has a mentally handicapped daughter and I often wonder how she copes with puberty. It would be a million times harder for this mothers daughter. Like Becky said, is there a link to the story anywhere? It would be very interesting to read.
I have read the link BUT there is a link off that to her dads “home page” so i will read ALLLLL of that before i say anymore as he has a lot to say for what he has chosen.
I read the BBC news page and a few things disturbed me. I read all reasons the parents said to why they want her uterus, breast buds and apendix removed:
Uterus=She will never bear children and they think its a good idea INCASE she is sexually abused????? Why would she be they say they care for her 24/7!Breast buds=So she suffers now discomfort while sleeping and again sexual abuse?!?!?!
Also her weight being kept down (read on fathers blog) because she is too big for her buggy? Get a wheelchair. She is easier to carry around and make it possible to do family activities. I didnt see much defence on this being good for her other than periods are uncomfortable for any woman and any mentalally disabled woman but the dont stop all womens (who are disabled). So to me the reasons why mean ALL disabled women should have their growt stopped, breast buds removed, uterus remover, apendix removed all because its better for them. Now all those operations they put her through must feel worse than a 5 day period! Give her the depo injection to stop periods? Why such drastic measures?
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